McJob or whatever i can title you (McJobless i dunno),
You have shown more compassion for game design then a lot of other people i know.
And i have studied game design for 2 years (then i got kicked out sorta, not going into details).
I know it means little, but as long as you believe, i am sure you can get something going and find yourself a job somewhere afterwards (if you don't have one in that direction yet).
I lack the right words to say it correctly, but i am sure you want this a lot, you know a lot and that should at least give you an edge over a lot of other people.