: So, with that out of the way, is there anything else about your situation you would like to get off your chest?
Cualli sighs, trying to think of where to start.
"I guess I'm just... not sure how I'm supposed to feel about him," she says quietly. "Obviously, I'm sure I'm supposed to hate his guts and want him dead just like everyone else, and yeah, I was pretty pissed at him at first. But then I just started thinking about how... how I'm probably never going to get to see him again, and how since he's now a traitor and probably execute-on-sight here in Aesthia, we'll probably... never even get to be together after the war is over." Cualli swallows. "If he's even still alive, or even wants to be with me after all this."
She realizes that her hands are trembling again and shoves them into her pockets to hide them. "I guess I still love him too much to really hate him, because now I'm just... I just miss him more than anything." She thinks back to when she was by Arkhip's side in the hospital and her throat tightens. "He... he'd promised me that he'd always make it back to me." Her eyes become wet and one of her hands comes up to brush away the tears that are threatening to slide down her cheek.
After a few long moments, she continues. "And people on the carrier know that I was close to him. Most of them think that I had a hand in his desertion and hate me for it. I really only feel like the people who aren't actively out to get me are Elu and Fr-- Captain Illarion. Everyone else is... part of Djuriskas tried to stab me, and Captain Illarion is the only reason they didn't. And Mjolnir's flight lead hates me more than anything, and if the flight lead is against me, then I'm pretty sure he's got everyone under him against me, too."
"Or at least, he'd have more influence to get me thrown in prison for either having a hand in Captain Orlov's desertion or being a desertion risk myself," she says finally.
She's not sure whether or not she feels better after getting everything off of her chest. Her head feels light and her knees don't feel as steady as usual.