I know you have a pair of FO1&2 goggles Wonderglued to your face but come on, really?
Every game has it's grongards, I'm sure you guys have one of those games as well. Fallout doesn't have to be turn based, it doesn't have to isometric. I'd say what makes a fallout game a fallout game was that you were free to do whatever ever you want, but your actions came with consequences. For example you could murder a whole settlement, but you gained the beserker reputation which made talking to good karma npcs more difficult and bad ones more easy. Killing child labeled you a child killer and you punished by having bounty hunters sent after you and they only got stronger over time. First starting out as dudes in leather armor with shotguns and eventually becoming guys with power armor equipped with rocket launchers and miniguns. Followers would refuse to join you if you were a child killer as well. The next thing was that there were multiple approaches to a situation. Take a boss type character for example, you could shoot him up or punch him, you could try talking him down with speech, or using your science perk to rearm a bomb under the floor. Say you run into a locked door, you could hunt for the key, pick pocket someone or kill them and take, hack a terminal, or use a bomb to blow up the door. In fallout 3 your only options for doors are either hacking, finding a key, or picking the lock. Which goes sort of against the ties in with freedom and that is let the player play how they want to play. Maybe I don't want to be hacker, but the quest requires that I know how to hack a level 48 terminal. There was also dark humor, but when your guy for FO3 says "Violence is funny! Let's all just own up to it! Violence done well is loving hilarious! It's like Itchy and Scratchy or Jackass -now that is funny" that's just slap stick and le edge humor.
Yeah fallout 3 has freedom, but it's freedom without consequence. I can blow up megaton and pay 2,000 caps to some guy to say sorry while dad acts like it was no big deal. Yeah there is there is sort more than one way to deal with something, but often you only have the one choice.