Good job looting now unload some AA-12 into their van
Fire on the driver and gunman 2. Once everyone is at least injured, it should be easy pickings.
You spray the AA-12 wildly into the van!
Cartel Gunman 2 is killed! The Cartel members have had enough, and they know when to fold em! The van speeds out of the cemetery right as the SWAT Van arrives, and it is chased off into the distance.
As you stand amongst all the dead, a single thought enters your mind. You can't let all this loot go to waste, so you go to work looting the corpses. You find cash, family photos of some random guy's family, and ammunition. You leave the cemetery and get in your car. You decide to check the news.
(Disclaimer: The names used in the newspapers are intended to be fictional.)
Police Officer gets off scot free after running "Minority Death Camp" in Missouri
Outrage and further resentment against the Police was raised today when Officer Southerner was acquitted of all charges despite photographic evidence that he was running a minority death camp. Southerner was quoted to have said obscenities like "Suck on that, you [Expletive Deleted] [tribal Slur Deleted]!" As he walked away from the court house.
Stalinist Comrade Squad strikes again!
A group calling itself the Stalinist Comrade Squad burst into the scene of political activism yesterday, according to a spokesperson from the police department. The events took part at JewBot Apartments. Stalinist Comrade Squad members allegedly kidnapped a Lawyer in order to brainwash him with Communist ways, spraypainted Communist graffiti on the walls, and dropped bad pickup lines on the masses.
Post Office to reopen
The Post Office will be reopening tomorrow after the accidental drone strike on it. Army recruiters will also be attending.
Terrorist attack at Tango Foxtrot Airport thwarted by armed civilian with .50 Caliber Anti Material Rifle
A plane hijacking at Tango Foxtrot Airport was stopped today by a heroic second-amendment loving citizen with a very high caliber sniper rifle. "Why did I do it? Because it was the right thing to do, I guess." He said.
School shooting at Garry Grove High School
A Senior named Derrick Floyd has gone on a rampage at Garry Grove High School. Derrick Floyd used a variety of weapons ranging from AKs to fully automatic grenade launchers. Traitor Joe has gone on record saying that "It wasn't me that sold him the nade launcher for malicious reasons, I swear! He said it was for hunting rabbits at his school!" 162 students were killed today. Officials are calling this the tenth worst school shooting in American history.
Crack House raided by Police
Police today enacted a daring raid on the Crack House, killing several dozen gangsters and crackheads in self defense and publicly executing the rest them in front of the cameras. Also in self defense.
Library burned down again due to "Illegal Free Speech"
Firefighters lit the Library on fire today due to unauthorized free speech. It was allegedly reported that bomb making guides were found in one of the library books.
It is now 9:45 AM.
Things to doAttend Court for your lawsuit against the AI (Tomorrow)
InventoryCar Keys
Flashlight
Stress Ball
entrepreneur Staff
Suit/Tie
M16 (2/30 rounds, no 5.56 mags)
Glock (5/17 rounds, 3 9mm mags left)
AA-12 Shotgun (HOLY stuff ITS AUTOMATIC) (15/20 rounds, 6 shells left)
Umbrella
.22 Pistol (2/10 rounds, 2 .22 Mags left)
Switchblade
$1356
"Smart" Phone
Vehicle: Cheap 4-door Car (full tank of gas)
Bloodlust: 53%, Somewhat Sane
Poll