What do you do when society already exists and there's no single set of identity/heritage that covers all bases?
That's what I said. I have no idea how to put any of my desires into practice.
Even just half a century ago things were a bit easier for the west: nations tended to be ethnically, religiously, linguistically, and culturally homogeneous compared to now.
You could put a measure into practice that appealed to the majority's sentiments and even if it marginalized a small segment of the population, it would still work as intended.
Now we live in a world where the alt-right lives next to communists and radical Christians live next to secular Muslims. The fact that this has led to only a small amount of (in my opinion, rather superficial) qualities like loveuality and hair-color being allowed as sources of 'pride' is rather stressful for me.
We managed to get to the moon, for example, by convincing the nation they were an in-group and as an in-group needed to oppose the Soviet Union which acted as an out-group. We exploited people's in-group/out-group mentality to do wondrous things. But when overt nationalism, racial pride, religious extremism and the like are utterly taboo this only leaves us with things like who we voted for or what loveuality we identify as to be used as the in-group. We'll never be able to exploit people's loveuality or hair color to colonize the solar system.