I wrote so much off the top of my head I have no idea if this long pile of stuff text even has any cohesion or can help anyone, ultimately some of you might be better off not reading it, sorry.
I'm 19, 20 in December, have /no/ real life friends, lost my desire to live 3 years ago with a very equal view on all after-life scenarios and a very content view on death itself, life seems to only get stufftier and I might start a second college I might still not like since the first college was putting me in the dumps - nonetheless also completely untrained for, sleep 12 hours a day and typically go to sleep at 5 AM, hence waking up at 5 PM and only having one meal per day since it'd only be worse otherwise, typically waking up feeling like stuff with my whole body desiring to stay in bed for the rest of the day but I at least get on the computer. I also lost all desire to do anything in life, I might want to work for my own benefit (money) but that's all there is to it, I have no desire to have future generations in this family - growing a family, since it'd mean unfruitful hard work.
Do what I do and sometimes watch cat videos at 4 AM if you are in the dumps, which for me is like every other day. Joke aside (though I did something like that in the past), it might be worthwhile finding activities on the computer which can bring you a positive nature. Be it find something you like doing - buy a tablet and start drawing or anything of the sorts, such as writing - since you are a typically enclosed person you might find that your emotions are more easily expressed in words - you could 'write a book' as many of us might've thought of doing at one point but never actually did, or find some series/anime/Youtubers you like and watch them x hours a day.
I can't say I am unhappy otherwise, as my current view in life is "All right, everything is loving stuff but least I can do is stick around and see what happens until I can't push it any further." but seeing I am not physically abused, seriously mentally damaged because of any traumatic events, on the streets, 100% alone (family counts), the only thing that at this moment gives me something to do (computer) works; that statement above applies. I am not happy with the situation I am in, but I am content with staying in it to see what happens as it's not the end of it. There are still events ahead of me which have the potential to radically change something, primarily starting this new college. If it goes well then I might be more positive about it, if it's not - I'll see what happens next when I fail classes, up to the point where one of the above 'end states' apply, possibly family disregarding me although that's perhaps the hardest one to come by.
What is however true is that being 'alone' is your 'fault' in only small amounts of cases. In reality some people simply are not social, and they will be slowly pushed to the side to social groups. I can go out and 'make friends' all I want but if I am not a type of person that likes to talk that'll prove difficult if not impossible since I will simply not make people interested in keeping conversations with me. Back in the past it was not uncommon for me to be invited to 'go out' and never speak or be spoken to, except a casual such as "Why don't you speak much?" or "You're not a very talkative person, are you?".
This is why I squint my eyes at people that say you should go out and 'make friends'. You have been in a scenario where you either didn't need to do that alone, you are a typically social person, or you actually managed to muster up the courage to do so yourself at one point, but ultimately you are not the same person as the person in cause, which might even be in a worse situation than you initially were when you 'went to make friends'. Just because you could it doesn't mean someone else can.
Ultimately friends make friends as well. If you have a group of friends you can easily arm yourself up and go out to meet people at a point only contradicted by being antisocial. If you don't have the desire to talk or make friends that's game over for that vector. However, once you lost any contact, it's only you that can take the initiative, and if you are in a circumstance where this happens it's likely you won't, and that's what some should realize is actually fine - since you would not fare well in another environment anyway. If you built yourself this way you should either live with it or spend your time sulking about the past which you can't change. Either change the future, which in this particular situation is ridiculously difficult since what you've made yourself to be, or be content with the present you are in - I myself am content. My life is stuff, I have no friends, but I managed to put myself in a mentality that it's what I've been doing this whole life, and that it's fine.
The only times I actually regret being alone or antisocial/not-talkative is when I see other people in social scenarios I am not part of but should be. This mostly applies to Skype/Discord/Teamspeak/Groupchats w/e in situations where I should be part of the conversation but instead I am sitting there in silence listening to everyone speak about their stories or whatever shalabajang. Those situations are of course avoidable, either knowledgeably seclude yourself from those scenarios by not taking part of them, although that's a point where you genuinely try to nullify the 'going out' vector - which as I said before is one of the methods you could however make friends IF you are not antisocial altogether and have what to talk about, or you can try to avoid group interactions altogether and attempt 1-on-1 conversations with people on those same platforms. Ultimately speaking is much different than typing, you can't take back what you say, and what you say can deduce emotions much better than typing with your tone, stuttering (case-to-case basis), etc., that's why some people might appear social on online text platforms while otherwise being loners in actual social interactions where they have to speak. I personally feel more comfortable in personal conversations since I save myself the heartache of listening to two people talking for several minutes without paying me any mind or without me having anything to add to begin with. I don't have problems speaking myself but I have problems mustering up subjects to speak about as the small amount of interests I have are rather of minimal knowledge. "You like that anime?" "Yah." "Cool, cool." EOC.
Funny enough Omegle might be pretty fun when you don't meet a person that starts with asl. I found some people that I kept contact with in Steam otherwise and one which I actively play games with... sometimes.
I don't think this whole stuffty read can give you any peculiar solution, but I hope it can give you a better insight on what situation you are actually in, if it's actually that horrible or if you can actually live with it. Being completely friendless in real life isn't the worst scenario you could be in, albeit a path which might get worse and worse unless you find yourself in forced social groups. A forced social group anyone starts with is the neighborhood, then the school. If you don't find yourself in one sooner or later when you'll get to work you'll find yourself in a workplace where you might have after-work hours and such situations which you can either avoid or indulge yourself in a otherwise impossible to get to scenario without friends - such as 'going out' or talking with your colleagues which are going to be in a more professional-friendly stance unlike the potential of having to sustain mockery during school, which is what makes people antisocial; that is, if you agree on the initiative to begin with. The issue of course if you consider yourself unable to work, or lack of reasons to do so / lack of desires or care in life. A situation in which I'm in as well, but ultimately I still got college ahead so I'll just keep going with whatever situation I have right now until stuff happens.
