I'm not a big fan of this theme. Lord techno is clearly trying to make this look like BFBB. But alas, a dungeon master must master dungeons, no matter the layout.
Player Actions
Twix
Entering the heavy tank
Your tank is finally complete. Time to put it to the test. You open the hatch, climb inside, and then seal it. You are now in control of the heavy tank, and attacks towards you will (hopefully) damage the heavy tank instead of yourself.
TableSalt
4
Using a bow called the Phantasm and just three arrows, you are able to fire twelve arrows to the heavy tank, dealing 85 damage. If only you had brought armor-piercing arrows too.
Redconer
5
What are you, some kind of explosives expert? The answer is yes. You plant three C4s at the heavy tank's weakest spots after brown townyzing the thickness of each spot, move away, and detonate. Boom. 112 armor points blown away.
Rabbot32
Landed tails
You attempt to spook the heavy tank. That doesn't work out, because Death is keeping a close eye on all dead players, and their souls cannot get out of the afterlife. For any reason. Bah. Gotta trick him with a trick question or something.
ZeÜberMedic!
Landed tails
Life will not come to you, so you decide to come to it. But Death didn't get distracted by Rabbot's actions long enough to forget you. You are pulled back in the afterlife. Nobody escapes on his watch, it seems.
JamesH
Entered the fight
You used to fight tanks before Bronson pussied out- I mean, left for an emergency. This habit got stuck onto you so hard you fought tiny toy tanks back in town. Thus, you regretted leaving and rediscovered the location of the player force, as you just can't let it die down.
To make your grand entrance, you...6...throw a Krak Grenade, a unique grenade especially for tanks. Like an anti-tank rifle, but throwable. Well, an anti-tank rifle is also throwable, but does considerably less damage than shooting with it.
Anyway, you throw the Krak grenade right at the bottom of the tank. You can hear a faint "Oh Krap." coming from the tank. After the explosion, hull and personnel damage totals to an outstanding 135 damage! Also, a human arm flies out of the tank's barrel, and lands on your face. shinyarceus4
1
You decide to melt the tank down with a unique material called thermite. Its temperature depends on whether or not a human is carrying it, which is handy for not melting yourself down, but metal instead. And what's metal? The tank of course. Sounds like a plan!
Except you forgot to bring thermite. God damn it.
The nearest source available is an ongoing robbery on a bank, where some criminals are about to drop thermite above a vault to breach it. Thus, you go there. The entrance is chock-full of cops with pistols, shotguns, automatic pistols and some cops with heavy armor and heavy shotguns. You barely run through them unscatched, and spot the bank robbers. They shoot you down as expertly as they shot every cop so far. This is what they call a "shaggy dog story", yes?
dcsealNot long after shinyarceus4 dies, then being put in a body bag anonymously and being forgotten forever, you arrive to the scene to do what all others are doing at the time: Shooting tanks. And humans occasionally. Oh, and while you're there...
2
It's time to kick ass! But what ass? Tank ass, of course! You go behind the tank and proceed to kick its behind... And then break your foot.
Ally Actions
Bastion
5
Bastion fires with his turret after it unjams for an unexplained reason. And after he fires, he fires another round, causing an outstanding 107 damage!
This attack also breaks the mega tank's armor!
Ally Chatter (!)Jack the Crusader: So why did we get into this again?Frederick the Crusader: Why, to defeat tanks, my dear Jack!Jack the Crusader: What's a tha-nck? Will defeating it help us retake Jerusalem?Frederick the Crusader: No, but it is fun, isn't it, my dear friend?Jack the Crusader: Now that you mention it, I am kind of enjoying this, my dear Frederick. Let's keep going, then!
Ally Actions (cont.)
Jack the Crusader:5 Jack charges the tank. Inflicting 75 damage.
Frederick the Crusader
4
Frederick charges the tank. He accidentally nearly trips on a rock, resulting in less force this time, inflicting 40 damage.
Mega Tank
Holy hell. This tank is complete with 2 miniguns, 2 5x rocket launchers, and an 80mm cannon. What, overkill?
Intel suggests this is a weaker model of it. Either way, prepare for an ass kicking.
Machine guns attack every 2 turns, dealing 1 damage to 2 people.
Rockets fire every 3 turns, dealing 2 damage to 2 people and 1 damage to 2 others.
Cannon fires every 4 turns, instakilling a target.
HP: 871/1000 Armor: 0/750
The tank finally gets a chance to attack, and fires towards Twix. But he was quick enough to get into his heavy tank, so the heavy tank gets the hit instead. The tank afterwards fires toward MicroEDGE seeing as he is in the open, dealing 1 damage directly this time.
Player List
Twix: 3/3 (Currently inside the Heavy Tank)
TableSalt: 3/3
Redconer: 2/3
ZeUberMedic: machine gunned down
Space1255: 3/3
Rabbot32: be safe around guns, kids
SubDaWoofer: 3/3
cromartini: Bad coincidence. Lethal explosion.
CRITAWAKETS: 3/3
NotBomberGuy: 3/3
MicroEDGE: 1/3
DELL: Ran at a commando in a straight line. You fill in the rest.
shinyarceus4: protagonist of a shaggy dog story
JamesH: 3/3
dcseal: 2/3
Ally List
Autonomous
Bastion: 7/8
Jack the Crusader: 3/3
Frederick the Crusader: 3/3
Manual
Heavy Tank: 4/5 (Controlled by Twix)
Processes
Energy Sword Shipment: Arrives in one turn.
Loading Data to Memory: Completes in two turns.
Poll