Not even gonna consider thinking about the apology? Sure I goofed one up in the past, but I mean do what you want, I don't blame you. But I'm going to change.
Duh, no reason to make an apology if you can't change your toxic behavior. Funny that you have been saying "I'm going to change" for the past year but nothing has happened. Don't say you'll do it if you won't.
If you're trying that's great but no one really cares when you post that you are trying to make a change, just do what you need to do.
When I first got here pretty sure I was like 11 years old, being completely stupid on a forum so I forced myself to log out for a year, came back better but I was 12 back then -- I don't have and disorders I'm just a person who makes rational decisons.