Show Posts
1
Off Topic / General Life-Story Thread, or: Terrible Choices and What Not to Do by Audax
« on: July 01, 2019, 03:41:57 PM »
tl;dr: Joining the military, moving in with my manager, her boyfriend, and her eight dogs, kicking the boyfriend out, dating my manager, almost catching chlamydia, my girlfriend’s baby that she adopted out to her own mother, my girlfriend’s depression, her first Self Delete attempt, her trashing the apartment, “finding God,” us leaving the apartment, her leaving me, finding out she committed herself to a psych hospital, her finally getting the help she needs, me taking her back, ending up at the daycare with her, us buying a house, things getting worse after we move in, the almost murder-Self Delete by my girlfriend, giving her too many chances, being blackmailed into staying with her, her telling me she’s pregnant, me finally leaving her and getting arrested.
EDIT7: And the finale: Part Eight.
EDIT6: My favorite part, in this post.
EDIT5: Part Six
EDIT4: Part five here.
EDIT3: Part four added in this post.
EDIT2: Part tres to give you an idea of what I’m getting in to.
EDIT: Added the next part so I don’t double post and look like a rambling douchebag.
Been trying to figure out how to start this without coming off with a false sense of “grandeur,” but whatever. I see a lot of new users, and I recognize a few people here and there but I’m getting the sense that a lot of the community that I knew might not be around anymore. Same with the friends I made and would screw around with on Steam. I don’t expect anybody to recognize me as I never made any huge contributions to the community, just small crap here and there haha. It’s been a while, and my life has been pretty hectic for the past couple years, but now things have calmed down and I can get back into my hobbies.
I remember a few years back people doing these big “goodbye” threads. I think IcyGamma had a couple, and MackTheHunter had a pseudo goodbye thread where he mostly talked about how he’d be around but not that much since he was going into the Air Force. At least I think that was him that made that topic. It’s funny to think about all of us who were in high school or college, and richarded around in the game and on these forums, and how we’ve probably all grown up and moved on to other things, or simply forgot about this beautiful hellhole. I’m getting off track, but anyways, this ain’t a goodbye thread obviously, and I don’t really want it to come off as a “Hello” thread either. Just another thread in off-topic, where you can listen to my story, tell your own stories, talk about your own experiences etc. Maybe pop in and say hello if you’re like me and still find your way back to this place and remember me, and pick up where we left off. I don’t know.
Might as well get on with this though. Most of the people I know get a kick out it, and most folk like a nice story at the expense of someone else, so hell—why not throw it up on here?
This all played out like a long chain reaction I guess. Each piece, or event leading to the next, guiding me towards my choices. Help reason things inside my head. It was back during the tail end of my high school career. My friends and I had slowly drifted away, something I would always be slightly upset about. My best friend had just gotten back together with his girlfriend who treated him like garbage, and she hated me and all his other friends and family. She occupied most of his time, and it certainly didn’t make my bud happy that I wasn’t very fond of her either, and thought he was a fool for getting back together with her. He had drifted away as well. My other notable friend had drifted away just the same after I blew my chance with her because I was an oblivious idiot (well, that’s probably still true actually), and her boyfriend didn’t want her talking to me, also while he pretended to be my friend just so he could “keep an eye on me.” My low self-esteem was kicking in, and my confidence was running low, and so I tossed away whatever opportunities came my way.
At the same time, I hated myself. The friends I had now were just me taking what I could get, and they all thought I was an starfish. Or maybe they really didn’t, who knows. What matters is that I thought I was an starfish, but not on purpose. As well as a slew of other things that made me resent myself. So I decided to join the National Guard. You know, the ones who go to horror-stricken neighborhoods during and after a hurricane to rescue people. Give myself a chance to sort of redeem myself. Not leave behind my civilian life though, so I could work on becoming a police officer. Help people who needed help, protect people. That sort of thing. Yeah. Real glorious. So I went off for my Basic Combat Training between my Junior and Senior year of high school. Met some nice and interesting people. Made a couple friends from my home state. That was nice, because when I got back, the “friends” I had scrounged together before I left, now believed me to be a trained killer. A killer-to-be. Fantastic.
So I finish high school. I go back for my second half of training, I come back home, and I want a job. My new friend works at a pizza place delivering pizzas, and he gets me a job there with him. It was a pretty good gig. We got paid more hourly than your typical driver, and the tips were great. But it didn’t last.
I don’t remember what the character limit for posts are, or what I’m even at since I’m typing this in my Notepad on my phone and copying it over. So I guess I’ll break here. When I’m done with all this, I’ll throw in a TL;DR, and links to the follow up posts.
I guess if you have any questions, shoot. Or just talk about your own thing, say hello, whatever. I gotta take a break before I do up the next part.
Part Two
So, the easy, decent paying job didn’t last forever. We hired some more drivers, there were a couple extra people on shifts, and so now my tips at the end of the night were getting smaller. Naturally, I began looking for a new job.
I had no idea what the hell I wanted to do though. As ridiculous as it is, I went to Craigslistto whore myself outto try and find some job listings. While scrolling through, I see an offer for a “Daycare Attendant” at a dog daycare. Thirteen bucks an hour just to hang out with dogs, play with them, and make sure none of them killed each-other. Sounded pretty easy. I also had no experience whatsoever working with animals, and my tiny resume showed that. My laughable resume where I went to a vocational high school for Culinary, where here and there I worked with my father or friends of his as a laborer/doing carpentry. Where I’m enlisted in the National Guard. “Hey there! I’ve never worked with animals really but I think dogs are pretty cool, here’s my erratic resume! Please hire me!” So I actually sent in my resume saying I was interested. I emailed the ad and laughed my ass off at the thought of my poor attempt, and continued looking for something I could actually do.
Within thirty minutes I got a response back saying they would call me for a phone interview tomorrow.
So let’s jump ahead, I got the job. It wasn’t that bad. The people were cool, the dogs were cool, and the pay was cool. Cool, cool, cool. Things weren’t perfect, but that’s another story. My manager’s sister begins working there too, and she was cute as stuff. We usually shared some shifts so I’d always talk to her and we’d chill together during our shift. One day we get to talking about how I’m trying to move out of my parent’s house, but I can’t afford a place by myself, and my friends either are dorming at college, or want to continue living st their parents and save up money until they graduate. Not me, I wanted to get the hell out of there. So my coworker tells me her sister, my manager, has a place and might be looking for a roommate. Alright, this is good.
(Oh boy)
I talk to my manager about her place. She tells me how she doesn’t roommate with strangers anymore since the last three were heroine addicts that screwed her over, one actually over-dosed in his bedroom at the apartment. She tells me about how now she is living paycheck-to-paycheck because it sucks renting alone with what she makes, as well as her other expenses.
(Hoo boy)
And I say to her: Well hey, I’m not a stranger! You think I could be your roommate? Of course, she says yes. She’s a little surprised. But she says yes. She tells me I can come by and check out the place, see if I like it, and decide if I still want to move in. I guess this is as good as a time as any to mention the fact that she had eight loving dogs. I knew this beforehand, she took them to work with her. But what did I care? They weren’t my responsibility, I just wanted to move out of my parent’s place and be independent. Alright. Okay.
Few days later I go and check the place out after work. My buddy comes with me to check it out with me after telling him about it. To my surprise, her boyfriend was there who she had never mentioned. Whatever, I guess the bills are getting split three ways than. That’s cool. She gives me a temporary parking pass to put in my windshield, and I take a look around, she tells me about the amenities and everything else I need to know, and I love it. The location was awesome, everything I needed was nearby, it was perfect. I tell her I’m definitely interested and want to move in. Great!
She follows me outside to get the parking pass back from me, and we talk about some other things I’ll have to do when I move in. She also tells me how her sister thinks I’m cute and is interested in me. Damn, things are looking up! Knowing this, I take the opportunity in full confidence to ask her sister on a date next time we are working together and of course she says yes. Damn. New apartment, going out on dates, things were really turning around for me. Unfortunately, things never went anywhere too serious with my roommate/manager’s sister. Even though I was led to believe they were going to, so that kind of stung. But that’s another short, and sort of funny story. But god damn do I wish things had worked out. Oh if I only knew what the alternative was. No point in dwelling on it though I suppose, it was out of my control.
While we’re at it, my roommate/manager’s boyfriend is also a total bum who didn’t work, and what money he did scrape together he would just smoke away. I guess they had been on and off for years, and he actually had just turned back up in her life just a couple days before I came to look at the place. I dealt with it, and he was friendly to me so whatever. I guess he never actually liked me though, and would get into fights with my manager and refer to me as her “work boyfriend” to piss her off, as well as always refer to me as “pretty-boy” behind my back. Of course I wouldn’t learn this until later on, but what I did learn, from my manager’s sister, was that her boyfriend had always been a bum. And that she was pretty sure he used to beat her, so I should keep an eye on things since I’m living with them. Yeah. Things are really looking up...
I know this probably doesn’t seem too interesting, I’ll admit, this is all the relatively normal stuff. Back then though, if only I could have known what kind of mess I was getting myself into, I would have cut and run a long time ago.
Part Three
A few months go by and my roommate’s boyfriend throws some tantrums, has some outbursts, the two of them are off again on again, and he’s still as much of a bum as ever. I talked to her about how I had heard some things concerning her and her boyfriend, and that if she ever felt like she needed help—I was there (there I go trying to play hero). At this point everyone at work was talking about her boyfriend, and I was lying for her that he wasn’t living with us. I guess before I turned up, she had told people at work about their crazy history and how she was done with him for good. Obviously that wasn’t the case. Point is, I didn’t put her sister as the one who told me these things.
Anyways, of course she denies it and says everything is fine, and as far as I could tell while I was around, there was no woman beating going on. So that was good.
Regardless, I was growing tired of this bum and his outbursts, and him smoking on the patio all the time and it getting in the apartment. And so was she, especially now that they were in one of their off-phases. We started talking about kicking him out. Her main concern though was grocery shopping and the like. She had bad anxiety, and always had someone go with her whenever she had to go out in public for whatever reason. Typically her boyfriend. But man, did I want this stuffhead gone. So I tell her I wouldn’t mind doing that. She’s my friend, there’s no harm in it. It doesn’t bother me. Whatever I gotta do so I can live peacefully and comfortably. She’s not too sure, and doesn’t want to be a burden, but she’ll think about it.
At this time someone from high school contacts me and tries to hire me to kill their boss since they “felt I could.” Wow.
Now, one day I’m at work when my roommate snapchats me. She prefaces with how odd this might seem, but she figures she’s got nothing to lose in asking me. She’s wondering if I would be down to forget. Okay. Now, me being the absolute buffoon I am, instead of simply saying: Yes, or—sure, I tell her I’m looking for something more serious and not really into just hooking up.
And of course, that’s great. She’s even happier with that.
(Whew boy)
But I ask her, what about so-and-so? And she tells me today she is going to kick him out. Alrighty. Things are looking up (and not just my richard). I get home and she explains how she talked to him, and she’s giving him a week to find someplace else. That he’s not allowed back until she says so, that he has to spend all day trying to find a new place to live, and if by the end of the week whether or not he has found someplace, he’s gone. So, naturally, while he’s out all day and night, her and I do our thing.
(Audax, you idiot)
By the end of the week he has not found someplace else to live. He has locked himself in my roommate/now girlfriend’s bedroom, and he’s not leaving. She contacts her ex’s sister, and his sister tries to tell him she can stay with him for a while. This only pisses him off more, and he burns that bridge with his sister because she “stabbed him in the back by talking to my now-girlfriend.” My now-girlfriend threatens to call the cops if he doesn’t leave, so finally he does. Oh, also—turns out it was his birthday that day. Whatever. Till this day I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still crashing on some park bench in Boston.
Now, things are okay. Month or so in, and she’s already telling me while she’s half asleep that she loves me (yeah, I know) and I think it’s the sweetest thing ever. I almost catch chlamydia—
Oh, huh? Oh yeah. I almost catch chlamydia. Silly me! How could I forget to mention the part where a couple months before my girlfriend and I started loving, she had a three-way with her ex and best friend one night when the four of us were hanging out and drinking, and caught chlamydia from her best friend?! Must have slipped my mind! HAHAHA
And this wasn’t the only three-way she was guilted into, but I digress.
So I go and get tested and I come up negative. But because I had “known contact” with someone with the infection, they give me the antibiotic anyways. No love for seven days. Needless to say, that didn’t work out for either of us.
So I go back and get tested again, and I still come up negative. But because, once again I had known contact with someone who had chlamydia they give me another antibiotic. This time I’m a good boy. I still don’t know whether or not I ever actually had it, the odds of me somehow not catching it are crazy, but whatever. Yeah. WHATEVER.
Guess this is as good a place as any to mention the other thing about my girlfriend, mostly because I don’t know where else to mention this, but I want to paint a really good picture for all of you. Because, this is for all of you and your enjoyment :)
My girlfriend has a kid. Well, kind of. No, yeah. She absolutely had a kid. About five or six years before we had met each other she got pregnant with her—at this point—infamous ex. She wanted to abort it, except he swore up and down that if she did he was going to leave her, so she keeps it. Only until six months into the pregnancy, he’s all pissed off because she’s sick all the time, hormonal, has to help her, she has a big belly etc. and he’s not having it anymore. He wishes she would have just aborted it. Welp, too late now. So she has the baby, and they’re living with my girlfriend’s mother, and the two of them are trying to raise their baby. Her ex is throwing tantrums all the time because the stress is too much, and the stress is coming down on her too. Now, a piece of this next part I didn’t know until my girlfriend’s mother told me.
So my girlfriend’s mother comes home one day to find my girlfriend curled up, sitting in the floor, just staring at the wall. Boyfriend is nowhere to be found, probably smoking pot or skateboarding. And the baby is balling its’ eyes out in the crib. Her mother asks her what she’s doing, and my girlfriend says “She’s done.” That she’s not doing it anymore. She can’t and she won’t.
So anyways, she decides she’s going to put her kid up for adoption. She doesn’t want the thing anymore. Oh, but what a coincidence! My girlfriend’s mother can’t have kids anymore, and her and her husband wanted one more. So they adopt the baby.
So lemme break this down for you. Years before I met my girlfriend, she and her ex have a kid, don’t want it anymore, so her mother adopts the baby. So now this baby grows up thinking it’s biological mom (my girlfriend) is its’ sister, and that its’ biological grandmother is its’ mother. While in the meantime, the new mother (actually the grandmother) is putting together a nice little shoebox of pictures, love letters from my girlfriend’s ex, etc. so when she turns sixteen, she can give her the shoebox and tell her all about the truth of who her mother and father are. I wish I was making this stuff up.
But hey, whatever—right? It’s in the past. I’m a good guy, I can be a good guy, right? It doesn’t bother me! (It did).
Damn, this has been a lot to type out on a phone (I’ll get to that eventually). I think this is a good place to stop for now until later tonight or tomorrow. Questions, jokes, personal stories to relate—go right on ahead.
EDIT7: And the finale: Part Eight.
EDIT6: My favorite part, in this post.
EDIT5: Part Six
EDIT4: Part five here.
EDIT3: Part four added in this post.
EDIT2: Part tres to give you an idea of what I’m getting in to.
EDIT: Added the next part so I don’t double post and look like a rambling douchebag.
Been trying to figure out how to start this without coming off with a false sense of “grandeur,” but whatever. I see a lot of new users, and I recognize a few people here and there but I’m getting the sense that a lot of the community that I knew might not be around anymore. Same with the friends I made and would screw around with on Steam. I don’t expect anybody to recognize me as I never made any huge contributions to the community, just small crap here and there haha. It’s been a while, and my life has been pretty hectic for the past couple years, but now things have calmed down and I can get back into my hobbies.
I remember a few years back people doing these big “goodbye” threads. I think IcyGamma had a couple, and MackTheHunter had a pseudo goodbye thread where he mostly talked about how he’d be around but not that much since he was going into the Air Force. At least I think that was him that made that topic. It’s funny to think about all of us who were in high school or college, and richarded around in the game and on these forums, and how we’ve probably all grown up and moved on to other things, or simply forgot about this beautiful hellhole. I’m getting off track, but anyways, this ain’t a goodbye thread obviously, and I don’t really want it to come off as a “Hello” thread either. Just another thread in off-topic, where you can listen to my story, tell your own stories, talk about your own experiences etc. Maybe pop in and say hello if you’re like me and still find your way back to this place and remember me, and pick up where we left off. I don’t know.
Might as well get on with this though. Most of the people I know get a kick out it, and most folk like a nice story at the expense of someone else, so hell—why not throw it up on here?
This all played out like a long chain reaction I guess. Each piece, or event leading to the next, guiding me towards my choices. Help reason things inside my head. It was back during the tail end of my high school career. My friends and I had slowly drifted away, something I would always be slightly upset about. My best friend had just gotten back together with his girlfriend who treated him like garbage, and she hated me and all his other friends and family. She occupied most of his time, and it certainly didn’t make my bud happy that I wasn’t very fond of her either, and thought he was a fool for getting back together with her. He had drifted away as well. My other notable friend had drifted away just the same after I blew my chance with her because I was an oblivious idiot (well, that’s probably still true actually), and her boyfriend didn’t want her talking to me, also while he pretended to be my friend just so he could “keep an eye on me.” My low self-esteem was kicking in, and my confidence was running low, and so I tossed away whatever opportunities came my way.
At the same time, I hated myself. The friends I had now were just me taking what I could get, and they all thought I was an starfish. Or maybe they really didn’t, who knows. What matters is that I thought I was an starfish, but not on purpose. As well as a slew of other things that made me resent myself. So I decided to join the National Guard. You know, the ones who go to horror-stricken neighborhoods during and after a hurricane to rescue people. Give myself a chance to sort of redeem myself. Not leave behind my civilian life though, so I could work on becoming a police officer. Help people who needed help, protect people. That sort of thing. Yeah. Real glorious. So I went off for my Basic Combat Training between my Junior and Senior year of high school. Met some nice and interesting people. Made a couple friends from my home state. That was nice, because when I got back, the “friends” I had scrounged together before I left, now believed me to be a trained killer. A killer-to-be. Fantastic.
So I finish high school. I go back for my second half of training, I come back home, and I want a job. My new friend works at a pizza place delivering pizzas, and he gets me a job there with him. It was a pretty good gig. We got paid more hourly than your typical driver, and the tips were great. But it didn’t last.
I don’t remember what the character limit for posts are, or what I’m even at since I’m typing this in my Notepad on my phone and copying it over. So I guess I’ll break here. When I’m done with all this, I’ll throw in a TL;DR, and links to the follow up posts.
I guess if you have any questions, shoot. Or just talk about your own thing, say hello, whatever. I gotta take a break before I do up the next part.
Part Two
So, the easy, decent paying job didn’t last forever. We hired some more drivers, there were a couple extra people on shifts, and so now my tips at the end of the night were getting smaller. Naturally, I began looking for a new job.
I had no idea what the hell I wanted to do though. As ridiculous as it is, I went to Craigslist
Within thirty minutes I got a response back saying they would call me for a phone interview tomorrow.
So let’s jump ahead, I got the job. It wasn’t that bad. The people were cool, the dogs were cool, and the pay was cool. Cool, cool, cool. Things weren’t perfect, but that’s another story. My manager’s sister begins working there too, and she was cute as stuff. We usually shared some shifts so I’d always talk to her and we’d chill together during our shift. One day we get to talking about how I’m trying to move out of my parent’s house, but I can’t afford a place by myself, and my friends either are dorming at college, or want to continue living st their parents and save up money until they graduate. Not me, I wanted to get the hell out of there. So my coworker tells me her sister, my manager, has a place and might be looking for a roommate. Alright, this is good.
(Oh boy)
I talk to my manager about her place. She tells me how she doesn’t roommate with strangers anymore since the last three were heroine addicts that screwed her over, one actually over-dosed in his bedroom at the apartment. She tells me about how now she is living paycheck-to-paycheck because it sucks renting alone with what she makes, as well as her other expenses.
(Hoo boy)
And I say to her: Well hey, I’m not a stranger! You think I could be your roommate? Of course, she says yes. She’s a little surprised. But she says yes. She tells me I can come by and check out the place, see if I like it, and decide if I still want to move in. I guess this is as good as a time as any to mention the fact that she had eight loving dogs. I knew this beforehand, she took them to work with her. But what did I care? They weren’t my responsibility, I just wanted to move out of my parent’s place and be independent. Alright. Okay.
Few days later I go and check the place out after work. My buddy comes with me to check it out with me after telling him about it. To my surprise, her boyfriend was there who she had never mentioned. Whatever, I guess the bills are getting split three ways than. That’s cool. She gives me a temporary parking pass to put in my windshield, and I take a look around, she tells me about the amenities and everything else I need to know, and I love it. The location was awesome, everything I needed was nearby, it was perfect. I tell her I’m definitely interested and want to move in. Great!
She follows me outside to get the parking pass back from me, and we talk about some other things I’ll have to do when I move in. She also tells me how her sister thinks I’m cute and is interested in me. Damn, things are looking up! Knowing this, I take the opportunity in full confidence to ask her sister on a date next time we are working together and of course she says yes. Damn. New apartment, going out on dates, things were really turning around for me. Unfortunately, things never went anywhere too serious with my roommate/manager’s sister. Even though I was led to believe they were going to, so that kind of stung. But that’s another short, and sort of funny story. But god damn do I wish things had worked out. Oh if I only knew what the alternative was. No point in dwelling on it though I suppose, it was out of my control.
While we’re at it, my roommate/manager’s boyfriend is also a total bum who didn’t work, and what money he did scrape together he would just smoke away. I guess they had been on and off for years, and he actually had just turned back up in her life just a couple days before I came to look at the place. I dealt with it, and he was friendly to me so whatever. I guess he never actually liked me though, and would get into fights with my manager and refer to me as her “work boyfriend” to piss her off, as well as always refer to me as “pretty-boy” behind my back. Of course I wouldn’t learn this until later on, but what I did learn, from my manager’s sister, was that her boyfriend had always been a bum. And that she was pretty sure he used to beat her, so I should keep an eye on things since I’m living with them. Yeah. Things are really looking up...
I know this probably doesn’t seem too interesting, I’ll admit, this is all the relatively normal stuff. Back then though, if only I could have known what kind of mess I was getting myself into, I would have cut and run a long time ago.
Part Three
A few months go by and my roommate’s boyfriend throws some tantrums, has some outbursts, the two of them are off again on again, and he’s still as much of a bum as ever. I talked to her about how I had heard some things concerning her and her boyfriend, and that if she ever felt like she needed help—I was there (there I go trying to play hero). At this point everyone at work was talking about her boyfriend, and I was lying for her that he wasn’t living with us. I guess before I turned up, she had told people at work about their crazy history and how she was done with him for good. Obviously that wasn’t the case. Point is, I didn’t put her sister as the one who told me these things.
Anyways, of course she denies it and says everything is fine, and as far as I could tell while I was around, there was no woman beating going on. So that was good.
Regardless, I was growing tired of this bum and his outbursts, and him smoking on the patio all the time and it getting in the apartment. And so was she, especially now that they were in one of their off-phases. We started talking about kicking him out. Her main concern though was grocery shopping and the like. She had bad anxiety, and always had someone go with her whenever she had to go out in public for whatever reason. Typically her boyfriend. But man, did I want this stuffhead gone. So I tell her I wouldn’t mind doing that. She’s my friend, there’s no harm in it. It doesn’t bother me. Whatever I gotta do so I can live peacefully and comfortably. She’s not too sure, and doesn’t want to be a burden, but she’ll think about it.
At this time someone from high school contacts me and tries to hire me to kill their boss since they “felt I could.” Wow.
Now, one day I’m at work when my roommate snapchats me. She prefaces with how odd this might seem, but she figures she’s got nothing to lose in asking me. She’s wondering if I would be down to forget. Okay. Now, me being the absolute buffoon I am, instead of simply saying: Yes, or—sure, I tell her I’m looking for something more serious and not really into just hooking up.
And of course, that’s great. She’s even happier with that.
(Whew boy)
But I ask her, what about so-and-so? And she tells me today she is going to kick him out. Alrighty. Things are looking up (and not just my richard). I get home and she explains how she talked to him, and she’s giving him a week to find someplace else. That he’s not allowed back until she says so, that he has to spend all day trying to find a new place to live, and if by the end of the week whether or not he has found someplace, he’s gone. So, naturally, while he’s out all day and night, her and I do our thing.
(Audax, you idiot)
By the end of the week he has not found someplace else to live. He has locked himself in my roommate/now girlfriend’s bedroom, and he’s not leaving. She contacts her ex’s sister, and his sister tries to tell him she can stay with him for a while. This only pisses him off more, and he burns that bridge with his sister because she “stabbed him in the back by talking to my now-girlfriend.” My now-girlfriend threatens to call the cops if he doesn’t leave, so finally he does. Oh, also—turns out it was his birthday that day. Whatever. Till this day I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still crashing on some park bench in Boston.
Now, things are okay. Month or so in, and she’s already telling me while she’s half asleep that she loves me (yeah, I know) and I think it’s the sweetest thing ever. I almost catch chlamydia—
Oh, huh? Oh yeah. I almost catch chlamydia. Silly me! How could I forget to mention the part where a couple months before my girlfriend and I started loving, she had a three-way with her ex and best friend one night when the four of us were hanging out and drinking, and caught chlamydia from her best friend?! Must have slipped my mind! HAHAHA
And this wasn’t the only three-way she was guilted into, but I digress.
So I go and get tested and I come up negative. But because I had “known contact” with someone with the infection, they give me the antibiotic anyways. No love for seven days. Needless to say, that didn’t work out for either of us.
So I go back and get tested again, and I still come up negative. But because, once again I had known contact with someone who had chlamydia they give me another antibiotic. This time I’m a good boy. I still don’t know whether or not I ever actually had it, the odds of me somehow not catching it are crazy, but whatever. Yeah. WHATEVER.
Guess this is as good a place as any to mention the other thing about my girlfriend, mostly because I don’t know where else to mention this, but I want to paint a really good picture for all of you. Because, this is for all of you and your enjoyment :)
My girlfriend has a kid. Well, kind of. No, yeah. She absolutely had a kid. About five or six years before we had met each other she got pregnant with her—at this point—infamous ex. She wanted to abort it, except he swore up and down that if she did he was going to leave her, so she keeps it. Only until six months into the pregnancy, he’s all pissed off because she’s sick all the time, hormonal, has to help her, she has a big belly etc. and he’s not having it anymore. He wishes she would have just aborted it. Welp, too late now. So she has the baby, and they’re living with my girlfriend’s mother, and the two of them are trying to raise their baby. Her ex is throwing tantrums all the time because the stress is too much, and the stress is coming down on her too. Now, a piece of this next part I didn’t know until my girlfriend’s mother told me.
So my girlfriend’s mother comes home one day to find my girlfriend curled up, sitting in the floor, just staring at the wall. Boyfriend is nowhere to be found, probably smoking pot or skateboarding. And the baby is balling its’ eyes out in the crib. Her mother asks her what she’s doing, and my girlfriend says “She’s done.” That she’s not doing it anymore. She can’t and she won’t.
So anyways, she decides she’s going to put her kid up for adoption. She doesn’t want the thing anymore. Oh, but what a coincidence! My girlfriend’s mother can’t have kids anymore, and her and her husband wanted one more. So they adopt the baby.
So lemme break this down for you. Years before I met my girlfriend, she and her ex have a kid, don’t want it anymore, so her mother adopts the baby. So now this baby grows up thinking it’s biological mom (my girlfriend) is its’ sister, and that its’ biological grandmother is its’ mother. While in the meantime, the new mother (actually the grandmother) is putting together a nice little shoebox of pictures, love letters from my girlfriend’s ex, etc. so when she turns sixteen, she can give her the shoebox and tell her all about the truth of who her mother and father are. I wish I was making this stuff up.
But hey, whatever—right? It’s in the past. I’m a good guy, I can be a good guy, right? It doesn’t bother me! (It did).
Damn, this has been a lot to type out on a phone (I’ll get to that eventually). I think this is a good place to stop for now until later tonight or tomorrow. Questions, jokes, personal stories to relate—go right on ahead.
