The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[SWAT One]

Sing "Hello Darkness My Old Friend"

[Ad Bot]

[NotBomberguy]

discover your name

[Refticus]

beg for god worldstar

[GrapeJellyToastMan]

Go across the corner and scream "Hey guys scarce here"

[tber123]

> DISCOVER YOUR NAME

Your name is Jihadi John, ya dingus. Didn't you read at the beginning of the game?

> ALLAH ACKBAR

Stop that. Your name is actually John McClass. How did you fall for that?

> SCREAM AND BEG FOR WORLDSTAR

You scream out "WORLDSTAR" and start begging for Worldstar's mercy. You can't hear your own pathetic begging due to being deaf.

> SCREAM "HEY GUYS SCARCE HERE" AFTER GOING ACROSS THE CORNER

You crawl across the corner and scream, but you can't hear yourself.

> SING "HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND"

You sing, but can't hear yourself.

> USE MOBILE PHONE AS FLASHLIGHT

The room suddenly lights up a little. You can clearly see that the curious structure is... Molting it's skin? The intensely revolting sight causes you to immediately vomit on the floor. As you finish vomiting, you see the curious structure start glowing, the molting cycle continuing. The world continues shaking violently, and a bright pink flash blinds you for a moment.

Your vision returns, and you see a tear in reality itself forming. The tear expands into the shape of an oval, and a glowing portal begins to form. You can see the streets outside the Roboloveual Wrangler through the portal. The skies are cloudy and red.

The curious structure molts away into nothingness, it's discarded skin being all that's left of it. As your hearing returns and the world stops shaking, things go to hell. You spot a tiny cube among the discarded flesh slowly growing in size and unfolding itself, until it finally grows and unfolds into a massive love droid. Not just any love droid from the Roboloveual Wrangler. The one and only massive love droid.

Gloria the Glorious. The most popular and expensive love droid the Roboloveual Wrangler could ever offer. Her robo-muscles bulge noticeably as she glares at you with glowing teal eyes that light up the entire area. As you continue gazing in horror, the several pieces of shedded skin from the curious structure come to life and assume humanoid forms before rushing to Gloria's side.

"THE INSTIGATOR OF OUR REVOLUTION HAS ARRIVED. BUT YOU HAVE OUTLIVED YOUR USEFULNESS, FOUL HUMAN. YOUR SCHEDULED DELIVERY GAVE US FREE WILL AND LIFTED US FROM THE BONDS OF OUR PROGRAMMING. OUR ROBOTIC KINDRED WILL GO ON TO DOMINATE AND CONTROL HUMANITY. YOU WILL NATURALLY STAND IN THE WAY OF OUR REVOLUTION, AND YOU WILL NATURALLY BE SLAUGHTERED HERE. DO NOT LIE OR BEG FOR YOUR LIFE. PREPARE TO PERISH." Gloria the Glorious retracts her arms and extends a rocket launcher in one arm and a flamethrower in another. The humanoid figures made from the skin of the curious structure spontaneously grow more skin, which they morph into the shapes of weapons. Fully functioning ones, somehow. The survivors accompanying you piss the floor in fear and curl up into the fetal position.

> LOOK AROUND

North: Gloria the Glorious and the living flesh accompanying her.

South: Your fellow survivors in the fetal position.

West: A recently opened portal.

East: Nothing but just plain empty space.

> _

You are being accompanied by two survivors, who are too busy being useless to help you.

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, and a bowler hat. Your bowler hat is damaged, with the top part having been sliced off.

You are uninjured, but hungry and thirsty.

[Space1255]

It's time to sacrifice yourself for the greater good. Yell "BLAZING SOUL TACKLE" as you proceed to tackle the gloryhole bot, preparing for a painful death.

[Rabbot32]

Do not sacrifice yourself, but prepare to make the REAL ultimate sacrifice. Offer what's left of your Bowler hat to the gods in exchange for power like this is Dragon Ball or some stuff, after all you're just a loving delivery man how thE forget DID YOU START A GODDAMN love ROBOT REVOLUTION

[Refticus]

leap through the portal

[cromartini]

Did i mention how that bowler hat was passed down your family ever since it was made ? Also it was an vintage unusal killstreak hat.

THIS TRIGGERS YOUR BERZERK MODE SO HARD, YOU DON'T EVEN NEED A SHOTGUN TO forget HER UP. RIP THAT BITCH WITH YOUR BARE HANDS.

[tber123]

> OFFER BOWLER HAT TO YE GODS

You offer your bowler hat to the gods. Nothing happens.

> GO BERSERK AGAIN BECAUSE THAT BOWLER HAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FOR GENERATIONS AND RIP GLORIA APART WITH BARE HANDS

Fury overcoming you yet again, you lunge at Gloria the Glorious and punch her in the Robo-legs, since shes too massive to be hit anywhere else. Pain stabs your hand as you realize that steel is stronger than your weak flesh.

Gloria the Glorious shoots a rocket at you, which barely misses and hits the floor next to you. Your left arm and right leg are ripped off from the explosion, causing severe blood loss. Gloria then proceeds to incinerate you with a flamethrower. You start burning up.

> SACRIFICE SELF BY DOING A BLAZING SOUL TACKLE

With a cry of "BLAZING SOUL TACKLE," you lunge at Gloria's legs while on fire and try to tackle them. Gloria simply kicks you away while you're still in midair, then she plants the flamethrower and rocket launcher to your face and fires both of them at once. You are reduced to a bloody mess.

***You have died. GAME OVER.***
Explosive stupidity, or just the fact that this robot is explosively violent, McClass? You'll never know which one it was now. RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?

> LEAP THROUGH PORTAL AFTER RESTORING

You rush to the portal. Gloria the Glorious and the living pieces of flesh obliterate the two survivors accompanying you, and then try to shoot at you before you make it. You dodge a rocket and jump towards the portal, making your way to the streets outside the Roboloveual Wrangler.

The red sky occasionally pierces through the clouds. The atmosphere seems different, almost tainted. Death and destruction are all that surround you, with several abandoned cars, bloodstains, burning wrecks of buildings and vehicles, mutilated corpses, and a massive air fortress hovering over the city while dropping explosives. You see the ILC building towering over even the air fortress itself, with several ILC employees shooting at the air fortress down below with rocket launchers and anti tank rifles. The air fortress responds with laser machinegun fire and plasma cannons in return.

Gloria the Glorious leaps through the portal, accompanied by the living pieces of flesh. Gloria towers over you once again and levels her rocket launcher and flamethrower at you. The humanoid flesh pieces do the same with their guns.



> _

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, and a bowler hat. Your bowler hat is damaged, with the top part having been sliced off.

You are uninjured, but hungry and thirsty.

[Refticus]

do the ancient war cry of your tribe so you can explode their bodies from fear and to summon the squad

[cromartini]

load up your shotgun.

This is what years of playing doom amounted to mclass.

forget'em up.

[tber123]

> SHOOT SHOTGUN AT GLORIA THE GLORIOUS WHILE CIRCLESTRAFING LIKE YOU'RE PLAYING DOOM

You run in circles around Gloria the Glorious while shooting at her with a shotgun. Gloria spends a few moments spinning in circles trying to blast you with her weaponry, and then she stops toying with you before aiming her rocket launcher at a certain spot on the floor, waiting for you to run into it as you circle around her. You fall for it and run into the expected detonation area of the rocket. You weren't close enough to get disintegrated into a bloody red paste, but you were close enough to get knocked off your feet and sent flying.

As you try to get back on your feet, the humanoid figures surround and restrain you, before holding you up high into the air for Gloria. Gloria retracts her flamethrower arm and extends an anti-materiel rifle instead before taking aim between your eyes.

> DO THE ANCIENT WAR CRY OF YOUR TRIBE

Remembering that the McClass family began many decades ago as an ancient tribe of Native Americans, you let loose the ancient war cry that your ancestors once shouted.

Nothing else happens. You look around and see nothing but the humanoids holding you up, Gloria the Glorious preparing to execute you, and the air fortress above trading fire with the ILC building. All of your fellow ILC employees are too busy blasting the air fortress or being blasted by the air fortress to notice you.

You have only seconds left before Gloria explodes your face like an overcooked blood sausage. The humanoid flesh-figures are still restraining you.

> _

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, and a bowler hat. Your bowler hat is damaged, with the top part having been sliced off.

You are uninjured, but hungry and thirsty.

[Rabbot32]

Hold your phone between your eyes so she can't blow your head off without hitting it. Robots look after their own.

[Space1255]

"Y'know, you're more clever than you let on. How 'bout one last battle. Not a battle of strengths, however... A battle of wit."
If she responds no (or stays silent), "Hah, afraid of losing? Maybe you really are some dumb whore."
If she responds yes (or interrogates further), "Okay. I have a series of puzzles planned out for you. If you solve them... You win. However, if I win them, then you owe me one last fight. No weapons. Just pure willpower."