The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[Space1255]

"Do you know who I am? I am bowser, from sonic."

"A game made on the PlayStation made by Microsoft.

[Ad Bot]

[tber123]

> INTIMIDATE THE entrepreneur  WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE

Okay. How?

> "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM BOWSER FROM SONIC"

You menacingly state your threat. All you get is a flat "What?" from Uncle Jay.

> CONTINUE AND SAY "A GAME MADE ON THE PLAYSTATION THAT WAS MADE BY MICROSOFT"

"English, motherforgeter!" Jay shouts. "Do you speak it?"

> WHIP OUT THE RPG-7

You reach into your pants and start digging around in them for the RPG-7, eliciting several horrified gasps as almost everyone mistakes your intentions for something else.... And a few aroused gasps from the rest. You eventually finish whipping out the RPG-7 from your pants.

> THREATEN TO KILL EVERYONE IF JAY LANDS A HAND ON YOU OR YOUR FRIENDS

You point the RPG at Uncle Jay and threaten to fill him and his friends with lead if he harms you or your buddies. The other gangsters in the house start panicking, while Jay remains composed. He grasps his entrepreneur  staff harder and simply flicks his wrist, causing the entrepreneur  staff to smash into the RPG and smack it out of your hands... And into the air.

Everyone else in the house is going to blow up if the RPG-7 lands the wrong way, such as directly on it's rocket. You've still got time to do something while it's still flying through the air.

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the M60-toting manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap who packs a improvised flamethrower, a man with a machine pistol, a man with a sawn-off shotgun, the overweight guy with a revolver-style grenade launcher, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a M79 Grenade Launcher, RPG-7, ZTK-501 Plasma Rifle, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a bunch of gas masks, and a wallet with several hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a bowler hat.

You are badly wounded.

The Deal: Revisited is also on the Forum Games Discord.

>

[NotBomberguy]

let it blow up and scream ALLAH AKBAR

[Refticus]

stuff yourself and run out of the building

[cromartini]

Pull out a secret extendable entrepreneur  staff from your pocket and try to disarm Jay in epic entrepreneur  staff fight. It should be easy, you spent 6 years learning with your grandfather how to fight with a entrepreneur  staff.
After you disarm him, explain him everything from the limo to the entrepreneur  staff battle.

[Space1255]

Say "well stuff you're stronger than you look. We should run as far away as we can should that land on its payload..."
If that fails, engage epic fistfight.

[tber123]

> SCREAM ALLAH ACKBAR BEFORE EVERYONE BLOWS UP

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You let out a final shriek of "ALLAH ACKBAR" as the RPG lands directly on it's rocket, causing it to go off and explode the entire house. You survive the explosion, but then the roof collapses on your head and buries you in rubble. You slowly suffocate to death.
                      
*** You have died. Game Over. ***
RESTORE, RESTART, QUIT?

> RESTORE AND stuff YOURSELF AS HARD AS YOU CAN

You desperately attempt to soil yourself as the RPG continues falling, but you only succeed in farting.

> RUN FOREST RUN

You rush out of the house in a panic, and everyone else does the same. As you open the front door and take a single step onto the porch, the RPG lands directly on it's rocket and explodes, sending everyone flying somewhat-harmlessly. Your fall is painfully broken when you land on Jay's entrepreneur ed out limousine, smashing through the roof and landing in the hot tub. Everyone else lands on the grass, and Jay is the first man to quickly pick himself up and start moving.

"No! You son of a bitch!" Jay shieks. "Not again!" Jay and his male prostitutes start rushing towards the damaged limo, ready to rip you to shreds. Your party members look around nervously, unsure if they want to interfere. Nobody else knows that your party members are allied with you. Everyone else is focused on you and only you at the moment.

> LOOK AROUND IN THE LIMO

You see:
A silver, extendable entrepreneur  staff. It must be Jay's spare.
Some beers.
A used condom.
A packet of cocaine.
$50.

> LOOT entrepreneur  STAFF AND EXIT LIMO

You quickly swipe the entrepreneur  staff and leap out the window of the limo, coming face to face with Jay. The other gangsters, prostitutes, and bodyguards start forming a circle around you, shrieking "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

> DISARM JAY WITH entrepreneur  STAFF

Remembering the time your grandfather taught you to fight with a entrepreneur  staff before he left to fight in the war, you quickly lash out at Jay's fingers, smashing them. Jay lets out a yell of pain and grabs at his fingers while his entrepreneur  staff falls to the floor.

> EXPLAIN EVERYTHING FROM THE LIMO TO THE entrepreneur  STAFF BATTLE

You start explaining about your grandfather teaching you the art of entrepreneur -to-entrepreneur  combat and the limo, but Jay isn't interested. While you continue monologuing, Jay picks his entrepreneur  staff back up and socks you in the face, causing you to take a few steps back. As you regain your footing, Jay lunges at you, a entrepreneur  staff held high over his head, ready to come down like a sledgehammer.

The crowd around you goes silent in anticipation of a deadly strike. Meanwhile, two of your party members, the manager and the overweight guy, realize something. They start rushing for the barn, weapons at the ready. Jimmy starts rushing towards the large fuel tank with his drone following after him. The two guys with machine pistols and sawn-off shotguns rush back into what remains of the house. The man with the red baseball cap starts breaking into the nearby sports cars and vans, smiling in delight as he stumbles upon something.

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the M60-toting manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap who packs a improvised flamethrower, a man with a machine pistol, a man with a sawn-off shotgun, the overweight guy with a revolver-style grenade launcher, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, M79 Grenade Launcher, RPG-7, ZTK-501 Plasma Rifle, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a bunch of gas masks, and a wallet with several hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a bowler hat.

You are badly wounded. Some bruises and minor bleeding here and there.

The Deal: Revisited is also on the Forum Games Discord.

The ascii explosion was taken from http://ascii.co.uk/art/explosion

Also how the forget do I get ASCII to display correctly on the BLF and not be all forgeted up and misaligned? The ascii explosion was the only thing that I was able to copy/paste properly from a website.


>

[cromartini]

Thats it. Beat the everliving stuff out of that motherforgeter.

[Space1255]

Well he won't listen to reason. Find a way to bind him up and throw him into the explosion.

[tber123]

> DODGE LEFT AND UPPERCUT JAY

Jay swings down his entrepreneur  staff right as you step aside to the left, causing the entrepreneur  staff to smash into the ground harmlessly. While Jay recovers from the miss, you swing your entrepreneur  staff upwards and deliver a powerful blow to the jaw, knocking Jay a few inches into the air.

Meanwhile, the manager and the overweight guy kick in the doors to the barn and start setting up in there, grabbing a few haystacks and tactically positioning them.


> KICK JAY WHILE HE IS DOWN

As the stunned Jay lies on the floor, you start approaching him. Jay partially recovers from the stunning and kicks you in the kneecaps, also knocking you down. Jay sits up right, grabs you with his left arm, and raises his entrepreneur  staff for another strike.

> BITE JAY

You bite Jay before he can swing, causing his grasp on you to loosen. While Jay is distracted by the pain, you smash him in the side of the head with your entrepreneur  staff, disorienting him severely and leaving him helpless.

You see Jimmy continuing to rig something up to the large fuel tank, assisted by his drone. Jimmy finishes rigging up a contraption and begins running away from the fuel tank in a panic.

> BEAT THE EVERLIVING stuff OUT OF THAT MOTHERforgetER

You start whaling on Jay while he is helpless. The crowd around you becomes enraged by the fact that a random nobody is beating Jay at his own game, and a particularly dishonorable gangster grabs you from behind mid-beatdown and tries to tie you up with zip ties.

> KNEE THE GANGSTER IN THE GROIN

You expertly deliver a quick strike with your knees to the gangster's testicles, popping them open like water balloons and ensuring his infertility. And severe blood loss. The gangster lets out a high pitched squeal and collapses to the floor writhing in agony for a few seconds, and then he bleeds to death.

You look through the crowd of other gangsters still chanting "FIGHT" and notice one of your party members, known as the guy with the red baseball cap, waving his arms. He holds up a grenade stolen from one of the nearby cars and mouths that he is waiting for your signal.

> LOOT ZIP TIES AND TIE UP JAY BEFORE KICKING HIM INTO BASEBALL CAP'S GRENADE

Jay's vision is still spinning from the nasty blow. While he's still disoriented, you roll him over to his backside and tie him up with the zip ties. Once that is done, you kick Jay into the middle of the impromptu fighting area and quickly signal for baseball cap to throw the grenade, which lands on top of Jay. You quickly push through the crowd circled around you while they're too busy freaking out about the grenade.

KA-BOOM! The grenade explodes in a brilliant flash, killing Jay and lighting up the entire area for a brief second. Several dismembered body parts go six feet into the air and scatter in all directions, raining down on everyone and covering them in blood. All the surviving gangsters promptly begin to lose their stuff over the blatant ASS-KICKING they're receiving, and start fleeing in random directions.

That's when the large fuel tank explodes in a massive fireball, engulfing a good portion of the gangsters. You barely avoid being toasted alive along with the gangsters by sheer luck, being slightly outside the fireball. That still doesn't stop you from flying a few good feet and involuntarily barrel-rolling as you land, however. Maybe that's a good thing, though. You're safely out of range to avoid being affected by friendly fire, and your allies are starting to massacre the other gangsters.

The manager and the overweight guy proceed to let it rip, resulting in M60 fire turning several men into Swiss cheese and 40mm shells blowing people into an undertaker's nightmare. A few panicked gangsters get their bearings straight and gain the common sense to return fire, but they only manage to hit the broad side of the barn instead of the two guys they were aiming for.

Baseball cap whips out his flamethrower and stands on top of a nearby van before hosing down the last of the gangsters with fire. Surprisingly, his flamethrower has a pretty long reach, which is unlike any movie you've ever seen where flamethrowers only go up to five centimeters. The mobsters start rolling around on the floor screaming in agony as they desperately try to stop, drop, and roll, but baseball cap keeps toasting them until they've burned to a nice, black crisp.

Jimmy and his drone are a safe distance away from the action, watching all the carnage.

The two guys with machine pistols and sawn-off shotguns run into the basement of the house and come back out with several jerry cans of gasoline.

"Seems like that was the last of them." The man with the baseball cap says. "What a mess. We should probably get back to my van now. We have enough gas to get to my Texas safehouse without a hitch now.

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the M60-toting manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap who packs a improvised flamethrower, a man with a machine pistol, a man with a sawn-off shotgun, the overweight guy with a revolver-style grenade launcher, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, M79 Grenade Launcher, RPG-7, ZTK-501 Plasma Rifle, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a bunch of gas masks, and a wallet with several hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a bowler hat. Your clothes are absolutely soaked in blood.

You are badly wounded. Some bruises and minor bleeding here and there.

The Deal: Revisited is also on the Forum Games Discord.

>

[Refticus]

go back into the van like a sensible human being by diving into it through the god damn window

[Space1255]

Begin thinking about that article on Protagonist Syndrome.

[tber123]

> THINK ABOUT THAT PROTAGONIST SYNDROME ARTICLE

What is there to think about? There's no way that you could possibly have it, yessiree. The doctor that wrote about it was probably a quack, anyways. All he has is a bunch of anecdotes. You're fine. You're really fine. Honest.

> SPRINT BACK TO THE VAN AND DIVE THROUGH THE WINDOW

You rush back to the abandoned freeway and start heading for the van. Once you find the spot where the baseball cap guy parked the van, you realize that something is missing. Something shaped like a van is missing.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FRICKING CAR?" The baseball cap guy shouts, once he notices that the van is missing. You used to have a working car and no gasoline. Now you have gasoline and a missing car. There are plenty of abandoned cars on the freeway, though. Maybe someone was dumb enough to leave the keys in the ignition.

"U-uh... G-guys? A-anyone else h-hear something?" Jimmy nervously says.

To the distant north you hear shouts of "Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!", slowly getting closer and closer. Seems like the abominations that the love bots unleashed onto this world are no longer content with occupying the city that you once lived in, and are slowly expanding outwards. You also notice that the mist released from the floating air fortress earlier is starting to catch up slowly. It'll be maybe ten to fifteen minutes before it catches up to you.

> _

As a reminder, your party contains the M60-toting manager of the Roboloveual Wrangler, the man with a red baseball cap who packs a improvised flamethrower, a man with a machine pistol, a man with a sawn-off shotgun, the overweight guy with a revolver-style grenade launcher, a geek known as Jimmy with a weird headset, and Jimmy's drone that looks like a mishmash of a tank and a spider.

Your inventory contains a silver, expandable entrepreneur  staff, M79 Grenade Launcher, RPG-7, ZTK-501 Plasma Rifle, phone, hammer, some string, a magnet, a magazine called The Manly Man's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, a movie poster for BRUTALITY, an article about Protagonist Syndrome, a bunch of gas masks, and a wallet with several hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, a Rolex watch, and a bowler hat. Your clothes are absolutely soaked in blood.

You are badly wounded. Some bruises and minor bleeding here and there.

The Deal: Revisited is also on the Forum Games Discord.

>

[Refticus]

go right into the mist, it looks delicious

[Space1255]

Don't go in the mist it's toothpaste and orange juice flavored. I checked.