Not to dwell on ad hominem attacks, but you are a meatbag. Honestly, you're account is a prime example of a meatbag. If you really wanted to be taken seriously (as I assume that was your intention in creating the meatbag), you really shouldn't have stroked your own ego while talking about Elrune's "epic reply", how much you admire him, and how "the guy must be an absolute English professor". Really, it seems quite silly to have done all of that if you really wanted us to take you seriously. A chimpanzee could have guessed who you were, and he wouldn't even need a typewriter and an infinite amount of time. Mind you, I'm just trying to be nice here and give you some constructive criticism.
Now, to take apart your argument and examine it in the form of a nice essay. After all, isn't that how you like to do it?
Let's begin:
Essays are perhaps one of the most functional things that one can learn how to write. Through the use of essays, one is able to criticize literature, write learned arguments, reflect on life, and express their opinion. However, just because someone thinks they can write an essay, it doesn't mean they should. Elrunethe2nd, the resident "English Professor" of the forums at TheBetterMod.org, is an excellent example of this. Purporting to be able to write excellent essays quicker than the richardens, Elrunethe2nd merely produces an argument filled with more holes than a block of Swiss cheese. How is this possible? After all, Swiss cheese does have a lot of holes. No one person could write an essay with that many fallacies. Yet, it seems possible. Following the mantra of fiction writing teachers everywhere, this essay will seek to show how this possible, and not just tell as to how.
First, you are an starfish, and no matter what we do, no matter how hard our community tries, you would not get over the virus thing. To be frank, this is why our community isn't trying.
In the first paragraph, Elrunethe2nd begins his malformed essay with an ad hominem attack. Though sometimes useful, ad hominem attacks are typically reserved for the use of the unlearned; that is, those who cannot form a clear and convincing argument. Thus, the ad hominem attack weakens Elrunethe2nd's argument, and gives the essay a self-righteous and intolerant tone early on. Ironically enough, Elrunethe2nd thought that his essay would be ignored by the same kind of thing. Elrunethe2nd's choice of words certainly doesn't help to diminish this spiteful image he has crafted of himself. By using vulgarities and other base words, Elrunethe2nd comes off as an extremely unlearned person, more suited for creating propaganda than reasoned arguments.
In addition to in failing miserably in using word choice and tonality to help better his argument, Elrunethe2nd does try to use humor to benefit his essay. An excellent example of his irony can be found in his concluding sentence.
Your community is no less violent to us, and I frankly propose we put this behind us and let the matter drop, as neither of these parties has anything to gain from this.
Indeed, the irony does liven up the mood a bit, and it does make the essay a little easier to read (as humor often does). However, there isn't enough, and what little there was came far too late to be of any real effect. More seriously, Elrunethe2nd hasn't done nearly enough work to make this sentence work as anything but an ironic statement.
It doesn't take much mental processing power to consider that when you attack something, the people who are there will get defensive
Coupled with the ad hominem attacks, this statement seems rather hypocritical. After all, Elrunethe2nd simply wants to be friends with the Blockland community. He wants to sit down and have some herbal tea, so he wouldn't dare poke the bear, right? Wrong. Despite all of the attempts at "making up" with the Blockland community, Elrunethe2nd's tone and ad hominem attacks point towards a desire for "the bear" to bite back. So if this was actually the point of the essay, Elrunethe2nd failed miserably here as well.
But wait! Those aren't the only reasons why Elrunethe2nd's essay is terrible. As unbelievable as the Ginsu knife commercials sounded, there's more. Aside from hypocritical statements, ad hominem attacks, and an intolerant tone, Elrunethe2nd relies on misrepresented facts to create an argument. This statement
Second, we were toying with key.dat, an outdated piece of code from v8, and frankly, noone wants v8 here, and what would an unlocked copy of v8 achieve?
is an excellent representation of this. According to Elrunethe2nd, it's not stealing if the object in question is upgradable. According to New York State Legal codes, theft is taking something without someone's consent. As credible as he has proven to be in the past, I think New York's definition of theft is far more accurate than the definition used by Elrunethe2nd. Further on in the "essay" (even with quotation marks, it's very hard to use that word in reference to the piece by Elrunethe2nd), he states:
First, you put in the developers access keys I documented
It's all rather lovely than he documented it, but does that really make it true? Of course not. Adolf Riddler claimed that he documented the plans of the global Zionist threat, but that doesn't make what he said true. Just like Adolf Riddler, Elrunethe2nd is misrepresenting facts by stating that he "documented" something, which is supposed to make him seem more credible. However, until he provides evidence as the fact, Elrunethe2nd is merely acting like a
Quatschkopf, as the Germans would say, providing no reasonable backing for his claims.
Thus, Elrunethe2nd, resident "English Professor" of TheBetterMod.org, is nothing more than a sham. His purported argument is self-righteous and pedantic (although he fails at being a true pedant), and his tone is ironic at best, insulting at worst. To call this piece of trip an essay or a reasoned argument is an insult to essay either way. More base than prolefeed, this piece Elrunethe2nd is more than ample proof that not everyone should try to write.
