Author Topic: Omegle, funny conversations. Post them here.  (Read 114098 times)

Try this

You: Hi
Stranger: Hi
You: Want to hear some jokes?
<wait for agreement>
Then, I paste:

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.
Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.
Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
Yo mama's got so much dandruff, she needs to defrost it before she combs her hair.
Yo mama ain't got no legs talkin' bout how she used to kick it.
Yo mama's got an eagle's nest wig.
Yo mama's like Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.
Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.
Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, crows fly down and pick at them like it was corn.
Yo mama's like a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo momma has a 'fro with warning lights.
Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.
Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!
Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her to squeal like a pig, she said "Moo!"
Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"
Yo mama's so old, she knew Cap'n Crunch while he was still a private.
Yo mama's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Yo mama ain't got no legs and you bought her a bike.
Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.
Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.
Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.
yo mama so skinny, she hang glides with a Dorito
Yo mama's so black, she makes asphalt look grey.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, she looks like a cheeseburger.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama's got fake hair, fake eyes and fake nails talkin' bout she wants a real man.
Yo mama's like a Mr. Bucket, balls are always popping out of her mouth.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took you to the drive-in to see "Closed for the season."
Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits.
Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama's lips are so big, she uses Mop & Glow for lipstick.
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.
Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo mama's so dirty, even Swamp Thing told the bitch to shower.
Yo mama's like a Mr. Bucket, balls are always popping out of her mouth.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone love and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo mama's got no arms or legs and when she goes swimmin' they call her Bob.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!
Yo mama's got 1 toe & 1 knee and they call her Tony.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, crows fly down and pick at them like it was corn.
Yo mama's so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat buffet.
Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her ass before she took a stuff.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water.
Yo mama's so fat, she get's her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.
Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo mama's so old, she sat next the Jesus in third grade.
Yo mama's so big, she has to wake up in sections.

It either makes them laugh or makes them disconnect instantly.
I like that

Warning: The following contains content not appropriate for any child.


7401 users onlineYou're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Hii
You: m or f
Stranger: F
You: cool
Stranger: U
You: M
You: IF U SAY ASL I WILL RIP YOUR THROAT APART
You: :(
Stranger: Asl
You: 19 M Canada
Stranger: Canada suckssssss
You: wanna see meh rooster?
You: asl
Stranger: Y not 18 USA f
You: kk
You: in exchange for tits
Stranger:  sure you first
You: k brb gettin camera
Stranger: ..........
Stranger: This better be worth it
You: 8==============================D
You: ya liek
You: titz plz

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
You: HI
Stranger: hey horny
You: hi lovey
Stranger: r u horny
You: oh yea bitch
Stranger: same m or f
You: m
Stranger: f
Stranger: i am
You: Kewl
Stranger: how old
You: oeijs
You have disconnected.

new one

You:  hi
Stranger: hi
You: how is the weather
Stranger: it's not to bad fir Scotland
You: That is awesome
You: i live in the bloated us
Stranger: oh yea where in us
You: idaho
You: ):
Stranger: rainy there
You: love TITS
You have disconnected.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2010, 02:13:21 PM by pixl »

www.omegle.com

Part of a chat

You: oh yes
You: i forgot
You: my boobs are nukes
You: and their set to explode at 12:00 PM
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Feel free to post funny conversations.
Way to steal ideas.

video chat, inb4 naked people.

i saw some hot chick on video but i froze up and disconnected ):
i also saw a guy fappin

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey! Two girls here
You: press esc
Stranger: Susie 17 f
Stranger: and Amy 19 f
You: LOLWTF
Stranger: We have a site where you can talk to us
Stranger: site that says zombo goes here.
Stranger: cya there
You: ZOMBIES
You: OMG
Stranger: THIS IS ZOMBO COM
Stranger: WELCOME
You: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUU
You: connection implode GO
Connection imploded.

hooray for connection implode!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: my cat is lickin my wiener
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger:  Hi
You: Hi
Stranger: asl?
You: forget
You: RAMERIEZ
You: STAR

video chat freaks me out

some chick rubbed her titss :D



I loving lol'd.

I remember I once had a civilized conversation with a "girl" on here once for like an hour.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl
You: Hello my name is Dr. Dover, Dr. Ben Dover.
You: Ever heard about my glove of love therapy?
Stranger: kwl my name is tresa green
Stranger: i have a brother called dwane pipe
You: So uhh... Are we gonna forget or what?
Stranger: wat
Stranger: were u from
Stranger: ?
You: You wanted to see me and visit my glove of love right?
You: Oh, I'm from the exotic islands: The Pen Islands.
You: I'm new to this computer stuff.
Stranger: kwl
You: So, wanna try my glove of love therapy?
Stranger: yeh ok
Stranger: :S
You: Okay, what's wrong with you do you have an extra chromosone or something? You gotta be pretty loving stupid to not understand all these loveual references I'm making.
You: friend.
You have disconnected.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hiya
Stranger: your name is olivia isnt it
You: Nope
Stranger: dammit!
Stranger: lol
You: I Love you <3
Stranger: i lvoe u 2
You: Kewl.
Stranger: lawl
Stranger: my names dylan
You: Nice name.. :D
Stranger: :D
Stranger: wats urs
You: Bb. :o
You: Bob*&
You: BOB***
Stranger: GAY!
Stranger: lol
You: O u :3
Stranger: u just said ily to a guy
You: o:
Stranger: i hope u realize that
Stranger: cigarette
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 :cookieMonster: