Inhale slightly harder than normal.
You take a deep breath and suffer a heart attack. HNNNNNNNG.
RIPWithout an AA-12 shotgun, do not shoot the first person you see with a wallet, don't steal it, and never cure jinx using the vending machine.
You end up finding the urge to shotgun someone irresistible. You run up to a random guy and try to shoot him....
oh let me guess
The gun will backfire and explode.
The wallet will fly off into the sunset.
burn your money wallet
.....Only for the gun to somehow jam, light on fire, and explode in your hands. You instead coldrooster the man in the face, causing his wallet to dramatically fly off into the sun. Welp.
steal all of the man's organs and use them to go to the hospital to heal
harvest organs from nearby dead things
You steal some organs from the dead gentleman. Its an unhealthy color and it appears that the gentleman was a smoker. You sure you want to keep this? After that, you walk to the hospital and get healed. You wake up feeling like stuff(probably due to all the sharp instruments the doctors accidentally left in and other malpractice) and are confronted by the nurse.
"No money?" The Nurse says, angered. "GUARDS!"
Guard 1 tries to shoot the Protagonist, but his gun jams! He looks into the barrel of the gun only for it to go off, firing a full magazine into his eyes!
Guard 2 lunges at the Protagonist with a nightstick, but goes crashing out the window and falling 50 stories down!
Guard 3 slips and cuts his throat on a scalpel by accident! He grasps at it and gurgles as his life ebbs away.
Greedy Nurse runs away screaming, but falls down the stairs and breaks his neck!
+6 Bloodlusthey motherforgeters we're nearly to page 100
>Go to the library and stick your richard in a book
You rush to the library, ignoring the book protesters shouting "Save a tree! Burn a book!". Wait a minute, weren't those guys supposed to be setting the library on fire the first time around? Anyways, you shove your junk into a book when nobody is looking only to get bitten by a snake.
Boss Approaching: Some random venomous snakeA goddamn snake as a boss fight? This can't be too bad---
Some random venomous snake hisses loudly and jumps at the Protagonist's face!
Protagonist does the matrix-dodge!
Some random venomous snake SOMEHOW manages to equip a taser, violating all common sense and sanity!
Here we go.
BOSS: Some random venomous snake armed with Taser
YOU are somewhat wounded and poisoned. You've taken damage to the groin, also.
8:45 AM
ERRANDSGet groceries
Mail something at the Post Office
Find a Magician that can cure being Jinxed
Return library book before its overdue(Book is late at 12:00 PM)
WEAPONS:
ALIEN RAYGUN (2/10 rounds)
HEAVY CANE
TASER (5 cartridges left)
GLOCK (17/17 rounds, 1 mags)
FN MAG (45/100 rounds, 0 7.62x51mm NATO mags)
MP5 (12/30 rounds, 1 mag)
Personal ID-Tagged M4 (30/30 rounds, 3 5.56 Mags)
Templar Sword + Knife
Templar Armor
BASEBALL BAT
TRAITOR JOE's NICKEL PLATED COLT M1911A1 (7/7 rounds, 0 .45 mags)
SWITCHBLADE
FIRE AXE
WARDEN'S SNIPER CANNON (0 rounds left) Warning: Massive Recoil and POWER
DOUBLE BARREL SHOTGUN (0/2 rounds, 6 shotgun shells left)
LEVER ACTION SHOTGUN (0/6 rounds, 6 shotgun shells left)
FN BARRACUDA .357 REVOLVER (0/6 rounds, 2 .357 speedloaders left)
TRANQUILIZER PISTOL (0 Tranq darts left, 0 Special Darts) Suppressed Weapon
PSS PISTOL (0/6 rounds, no 7.62x42mm mags) Suppressed Weapon
S4M SILENT PISTOL (2/2 rounds, 0 7.62x63 mags) Suppressed Weapon
S4M SILENT PISTOL(2) (2/2 rounds, 0 7.62x63 mags) Suppressed Weapon
KNIFE
NIGHTSTICK
JEWBOT'S RAINBOW SWORD
| OTHER ITEMS:
INFECTED ORGANS
METAGAMER GUARD'S HAT
ALIEN BLOOD
DISGUISE (REPAIRMAN)
SUIT WITH TIE
SKULLS x2
ARMOR (STAB VEST)
DISGUISE (REDNECK)
DISGUISE (POLICE) Not your size!
BOOK (FIRST AID)
DISGUISE (FACTORY WORKER)
HEALING (FIRST AID KIT)
BOOK (BLOODLUST CONTROL)
BOOK (ACTION HERO GUIDE)
SMARTPHONE (DAMAGED)
DISGUISE (SECURITY GUARD)
SAXOPHONE
BLOODLUST CONTROL x1
MIND CONTROL KIT x1
STYLIN' HAT |
$0 IN CASH
BLOODLUST: 88%(Very Little Sanity)
JINXED!
Poll