Deadbot

[Refticus]

Have loveual interactions with Skeleton

pretty sure he isn't gay
unless we're a woymin, then skeleton will refuse to have sweet love

[Ad Bot]

[Blockchip]

You (loveually i suppose) ask Skeleton to patch you up
He (loveually i suppose) says "Yes." and heals you and The Camel with a medkit each.

The Camel uses the computer and opens the "Contracts" application.

It's a list of things you can do for money, most of them are illegal, and a lot of them involve murder.

Inventory
378$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Swastika Cap [Equipped]
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor [Equipped]
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [30/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You
Skeleton is playing his tuba
The Camel

Contracts
Kill Yourself
Assassinate President Obama
Control national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

Computer's Desktop
Contracts
roosterland
Google rooster
"Viddygam"
Five-percent star fish

Objects
Dropship controls
Computer
Parachute
Medkit

Objectives
Fly to the united states of america and assassinate president Obama
Sell national socialist propaganda to someone who dislikes national socialists

[tber123]

Let's do some contracts

[Blockchip]

You say "Let's do some contracts."
Skeleton asks you which one, and, after some discussion, you both decide on "all of them".

"Alright" says Skeleton.
"First one up is to kill yourself."

Camel orders a defibrillator for 50$ and one is launched directly onto his back.

The skeleton speaks.
"Shoot yourself and get 500$. Do it."



Inventory
378$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Swastika Cap [Equipped]
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor [Equipped]
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [30/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You
Skeleton is playing his tuba
The Camel

Computer's Desktop
Contracts
roosterland
Google rooster
"Viddygam"
Five-percent star fish

Objects
Dropship controls
Computer
Parachute
Medkit

Objectives
Commit Self Delete
Fly to the united states of america
Assassinate president Obama
Sell national socialist propaganda to someone who dislikes national socialists
Stop a national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

[Refticus]

go full out cool by using the rpg to kill yourself

[Blockchip]

You blow yourself up with the RPG.
You die, your team dies, the dropship crashes into a shopping mall, everyone in there dies, the nukes in the mall are launched, killing every organic lifeform on planet earth.

Game over
You get 500$!

The Camel starts flying to the USA.

"I just realized that we'd fulfill all the contracts if we were to completely destroy the US." says Skeleton.
"So that's an option, i suppose. The Boarrichard mall has nuclear missiles, so we could technically do that."
"What do you think?"

Inventory
878$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Swastika Cap [Equipped]
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor [Equipped]
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [30/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You
Skeleton is playing his tuba
The Camel

Objects
Boarrichard Mall (Contains Nuclear Explosives)
Dropship controls
Computer
Parachute
Medkit

Objectives
Fly to the united states of america or nuke it
Assassinate president Obama
Sell national socialist propaganda to someone who dislikes national socialists
Stop a national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

[Refticus]

blow up the mall from a safe distance

[tber123]

Get to the International Space Station and blow up the mall from there

[Blockchip]

You ask The Camel to fly to the International Space Station.
He orders two spacesuits (which doubleha ha ha as hazmat suits) from Store™, which are soon delivered.
You and The Camel put a spacesuit on, and Skeleton does not need one.

The Camel flies to the international space station, which you quickly breach.
You then blow up the mall with a satellite laser that they have for some reason, and fly back down.

Soon after you land, a Store™ salesman gives The Camel 600$ for blowing up the Boarrichard mall, covering the costs of the spacesuits.

You look around and see that one heavily reinforced room in the mall is still there.
It has a sign on it reading: "WARNING: CONTAINS NUCLEAR MISSILES".

There's a door and a number keypad with a 3-digit code, which presumably opens the door.

You ask a nearby person if they dislike national socialists.
They answer "Yes", and so you sell them some national socialist Propoganda for 50$.

He then throws the national socialist Propaganda down a nearby cliff, trips, and accidentally falls down there himself.
It just goes to show how it's physically possible for people to accidentally die.

Skeleton starts doing that thing where you enter every possible combination for a keypad.
000, 001, 002, et cetera.


Inventory
928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [30/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You
Skeleton is trying to guess the password
The Camel

Objects
Reinforced Nuke Room
Cliff

Objectives
Fly to the united states of america or nuke it
Assassinate president Obama
Stop a national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

[Blockchip]

After a while, Skeleton gets bored and starts guessing the number.
He tries 360, 420, and 901, none of which are correct.

He then attempts 666.
Access Granted

"Seriously, that actually worked? Whoever set this password is an idiot!" Skeleton says.
"Not that I'm complaining."

You, Skeleton, and The Camel enter the room.

There are 5 heavily armed and heavily armored people guarding the nukes.
They haven't seen you yet.

Inventory
928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [30/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
Guard #1, armed with M60 Machine gun
Guard #2, armed with Silenced JH Pistol
Guard #3, armed with Dual Makarov Pistols
Guard #4, armed with NDO Laser Rifle
Guard #5, armed with Raflag Rifle
You, armed with Combat Knife
Skeleton, armed with a B420 SMG
The Camel, armed with 4AF Shotgun

Objects
Nuclear Launch Controls
Guitar
Armed 47_DR Explosive


Objectives
Fly to the united states of america or nuke it
Assassinate president Obama
Stop a national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

[tber123]

Take a guard hostage and while everyone else focuses on you, the camel and skeleton get into position to wipe em out

[Blockchip]

You quietly tell your teammates your plan, turn yourself into an adult with the bullstuff age-changer (Taking hostages as a baby is hard), and perform.

You jump out of cover and try to take guard #3 as a human shield.
You have difficulties, so you quickly take a shot of steroids and try again.
Got him.

The ensuing situation provides a very nice distraction for The Camel, Skeleton, and a small person in robotic armor who just jumped into the room and is now shooting guards with dual Uzis.

The Camel shoots guard #5 in the back with a full blast of his 4AF shotgun, severely injuring him.
Skeleton fires 10 bullets at guard #2's chest, severely injuring him.

Robotic Armored Small Person fires one Uzi at guard #1 and one Uzi at guard #4.
14 bullets fired, 2 bullets hit.
Both guards are slightly wounded.

Guard #1 fires a large amount at Skeleton, hitting a few shots, breaking his left hand, cracking the back of his pelvis, breaking off a rib, fracturing a leg bone, and breaking his jaw-bone.

Guard #2 shoots The Camel once in the head.
Guard #3 is a human shield-hostage.

Guard #4 and #5 both fire at Robotic Armored Small Person at once, hitting him a lot and majorly injuring him.

Seeing as you've got a human shield and there are all these other people to shoot, you aren't really a high priority target right now.

Inventory
928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [30/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
Guard #1, armed with M60 Machine gun, is slightly wounded.
Guard #2, armed with Silenced JH Pistol, is severely wounded.
Guard #3, armed with Dual Makarov Pistols, is completely fine except for the whole human shield thing that's currently happening.
Guard #4, armed with NDO Laser Rifle, is slightly wounded.
Guard #5, armed with Raflag Rifle, is severely wounded.
You, armed with Combat Knife, are completely fine.
Skeleton, armed with a B420 SMG, has a broken left hand, cracked pelvis, has a missing rib, a fractured leg-bone, and a broken jaw-bone.
The Camel, armed with 4AF Shotgun, is very wounded.
Robotic Armored Small Person, armed with dual Uzis, is majorly injured.

Objects
Nuclear Launch Controls
Guitar
Armed 47_DR Explosive


Objectives
Fly to the united states of america or nuke it
Assassinate president Obama
Stop a national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

[tber123]

Whip out the uzi and shoot it one handed

[Blockchip]

You keep your human shield, grab a Uzi with one hand, and fire at guard #5 until he dies.

Your Uzi firing ability inspires Robotic Armored Small Person.
He simultaneously fires at both guard #1 and guard #2, hitting enough shots to kill them both.

Skeleton and Camel both fire at guard #4.
Camel shoots him in the head with his 4AF shotgun, making him fly across the room.
Skeleton finishes him with one shot from his G11 carbine.

"Good job." says Robotic Armored Small Person.
"My name's Brad, and if you don't mind, I'm just going to stab this gua-"

Suddenly, guard #3 escapes your grip, grabs you, throws you across the room, punches Brad, flips him the middle finger, and picks up his dual makarov pistols.

"MY TURN, forgetERS." he says.


Inventory
928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [30/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
Guard #1, armed with M60 Machine gun, is dead.
Guard #2, armed with Silenced JH Pistol, is dead.
Guard #4, armed with NDO Laser Rifle, is dead.
Guard #5, armed with Raflag Rifle, is dead.
Guard #3, armed with Dual Makarov Pistols, is completely fine.
You, armed with Uzi, have an injured back.
Skeleton, armed with a B420 SMG, generally has a few broken, fractured, or cracked bones
The Camel, armed with 4AF Shotgun, is very wounded.
Brad, armed with dual Uzis, is majorly injured and incapacitated

Objects
Nuclear Launch Controls
Guitar
Armed 47_DR Explosive


Objectives
Fly to the united states of america or nuke it
Assassinate president Obama
Stop a national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

[ZXukas]

have god send a medkit down to you from heaven, and patch up brad and give him some ammo.