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Author Topic: Deadbot  (Read 23120 times)

You pray to God himself for him to give you a medkit.
A medkit does not descend to you from heaven itself.

"No problem, I've got a medkit." says Brad.
"I'd use it myself, but it requires two hands and i'm missing my right arm. And therefore right hand. And i'm right-handed."

You heal Brad with his medkit and sew his arm back on.
You then give him your remaining Uzi magazine.
He thanks you, shortly before guard #3 shoots you both in the torso.

Brad mounts the machine gun on Camel's back and shoots guard #3 with it while skeleton repeatedly stabs him with his knife and Camel shoots him with his 4AF shotgun.
Guard #3 dies.

You and your people go to the nuclear missile launch controls.
Brad says "My name is not important, what's important is what i'm going to do."
"I just hate the United States of America and all the-"
Skeleton shakes The Meme out of brad.

The Meme asks skeleton "Why you no dead".
Skeleton explains that he has a device in his ribcage which simultaneously acts as all his vital organs.
The Meme steals the device and now someone has to put it back in.


Inventory
928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [0/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
Guard #1, armed with M60 Machine gun, is dead.
Guard #2, armed with Silenced JH Pistol, is dead.
Guard #3, armed with Dual Makarov Pistols, is dead.
Guard #4, armed with NDO Laser Rifle, is dead.
Guard #5, armed with Raflag Rifle, is dead.

The Meme, armed with memes, is completely fine.
You, armed with Uzi, have an injured back and are somewhat injured
Skeleton, armed with a B420 SMG, generally has a few broken, fractured, or cracked bones, and is also dead until someone puts the device back in
The Camel, armed with 4AF Shotgun, is very wounded.
Brad, armed with dual Uzis, is mostly not injured

Objects
Nuclear Launch Controls
Guitar
Armed 47_DR Explosive


Objectives
Fly to the united states of america or nuke it
Assassinate president Obama
Stop a national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

challenge the meme to a meme battle
use the rarest pepe you have

Your allies attack and shoot The Meme, bu it has no effect.

You start a meme battle with the meme, with the rarest Pepe you have.

>you out-meme The Meme
>you gain meme powers
>you now have a frog who can become a rare pepe

The Camel puts The Organ™ back in Skeleton.
"What did i miss?" asks Skeleton.
"Memes." answers Brad.
"I'm glad i missed them." replies Skeleton.

The Camel sets up the nuclear missiles.

This is your first chance to obliterate the united states of america.
It is also your last chance to not obliterate the united states of america.



Inventory
928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [0/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
Guard #1, armed with M60 Machine gun, is dead.
Guard #2, armed with Silenced JH Pistol, is dead.
Guard #3, armed with Dual Makarov Pistols, is dead.
Guard #4, armed with NDO Laser Rifle, is dead.
Guard #5, armed with Raflag Rifle, is dead.
The Meme is dead

You, armed with Uzi, have an injured back and are somewhat injured
Meme Frog is completely fine
Skeleton, armed with a B420 SMG, generally has a few broken, fractured, or cracked bones, and is also dead until someone puts the device back in
The Camel, armed with 4AF Shotgun, is very wounded.
Brad, armed with dual Uzis, is mostly not injured

Objects
Nuclear Launch Controls
Guitar
Armed 47_DR Explosive

Abilities
Memes
Bullstuff age-change


Objectives
Fly to the united states of america or nuke it
Assassinate president Obama
Stop a national socialist Protest Riot
Destroy The Statue of Liberty

« Last Edit: September 10, 2015, 10:32:38 AM by Blockchip »

Nuke it all and blame it on Turkey


You press a button, launch a nuke, shout "Allah akbar!", obliterate the entire United States of America, and blame it on turkey.

"I'm not sure which is worse," Brad says. "The fact that we just nuked a country and killed hundreds of thousands of people, or the fact that you shouted 'Allah akbar!' while doing it."

Obama is dead, and you get paid 4100$.
You stopped the national socialist Protest riot, earning you 900$.
You get 5000$ for destroying the statue of liberty.

The Camel hires a service for 200$ to move the nuke room onto the dropship.

While it's being moved, a Store™ salesman enters.

He says "Your money's no good if you don't spend it, and Store™ is the only place to spend it!"
"But if you do know any other places to spend it, please tell us so we can destroy that place."

The service finishes moving the room onto your dropship.
You can now fire nuclear missiles from the comfort of your own home!


Inventory
10928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [0/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You
Meme Frog is browsing dank memes in the pilot room
Skeleton is talking to Brad about how nuked america is
The Camel is smoking Skeleton's weed
Brad is talking to Skeleton about how nuked america is

Objects
Pilot room
Gutair
Armed 47_DR explosive


You nuke mars, too.

Inventory
10928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [0/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You
Meme Frog is browsing dank memes in the pilot room
Skeleton is talking to Brad about how nuked america is
The Camel is smoking Skeleton's weed
Brad is talking to Skeleton about how nuked america is

Objects
Pilot room
Gutair
Armed 47_DR explosive


nuke the sun
no
nuke under you and use the blast to go to the moon
and then have an adventure on the moon

Toss your national socialist Propaganda into space and nuke it

You fire a nuclear missile at the sun.
The sun explodes.
Everyone in your current solar system dies, including you.

Game over
i mean it's not really over since you can continue

You fire a nuke at the pacific ocean.
The blast sends you to the moon, and also heavily damages your dropship.

You throw your national socialist propaganda into space and fire a nuke at it.
The national socialist propaganda is completely unharmed and somehow floats back to you.

A nearby national socialist Wizard explains that another wizard made the propaganda indestructible and that it can only be destroyed by an eagle, or if it is made destructible by another wizard. Which he's not going to do. He's not going to make it destructible.



Inventory
10928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [0/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You have a spacesuit
Meme Frog is allowed to breathe in space as long as he makes a stupid meme joke about how stupid that is every 5 minutes
Skeleton can breathe in space because he's a skeleton
The Camel has a spacesuit
Brad is wearing a robotic suit that apparently lets him breathe in space
national socialist Wizard
Someone of an unknown species
Space Hitman
Space Policeman
Space Man

Objects
Heavily damaged Dropship
A lunar base
A Store™




begin to question how we got here from being born

You question how you got from being born to being on the moon.
  • You are launched out of your mother and land near a camel
  • You murder a drug dealer and befriend the camel
  • You buy stuff, lose the camel, and ask if a skeleton has seen him
  • He brings you to a dock, you are attacked, you kill your attackers, and a helicopter brings you to a dropship
  • Why do you need a helicopter to bring you to a dropship can't you just fly the dropship to where the helicopter goes
  • You committed Self Delete with a rocket-propelled grenade launcher to get 500$ and in doing so discovered a mall with a room that could launch nuclear missiles
  • You destroyed everything in the mall but the room, entered the room, murdered some people, out-memed The Meme, and launched a nuke at the United States of America for money
  • you launched a nuke at mars for some reason
  • you then nuked the pacific ocean and the blast sent you here
  • this "list" that "summarizes" what "happened" is stuff and i am sorry

Something like that.


Inventory
10928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [0/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You have a spacesuit
Meme Frog is allowed to breathe in space as long as he makes a stupid meme joke about how stupid that is every 5 minutes
Skeleton can breathe in space because he's a skeleton
The Camel has a spacesuit
Brad is wearing a robotic suit that apparently lets him breathe in space
national socialist Wizard
Someone of an unknown species
Space Hitman
Space Policeman
Space Man

Objects
Heavily damaged Dropship
A lunar base
A Store™
« Last Edit: September 12, 2015, 11:41:02 AM by Blockchip »

The person of unknown species approaches you, and says something in a language you don't understand.

A Store™ salesman overhears him and tries to sell you a translator.
"It costs three dollars and translates anything from any language with a near 100% accuracy rate!" he tells you.

Inventory
10928$
Store™ order catalog
1000$ Store™ voucher
Radio
Buffed Scrap Umbilical Cord
C4 [4ha ha ha]
national socialist Propaganda
Spacesuit [Equipped]
Swastika Cap
Combat Knife
German Combat Armor
Bullstuff Age-Changer
RPG [1 rocket]
Frag grenade [2]
GN-30 pistol 11/11 bullets, 0 clips spare
Makarov pistol 12/12 bullets, 4 clips spare
M16 assault rifle 32/32 bullets, 1 magazine spare
Laser Sighted Polstag Shotgun 7/8 shells, 8 shells spare
Silenced Uzi [0/30 bullets, 0 clips spare]
Steroids [4]
Turtle Potato Chips
Beer bottle [2]
Wrench
Scrap Manual
Dealer Outfit
Balaclava

People
You have a spacesuit
Meme Frog is allowed to breathe in space as long as he makes a stupid meme joke about how stupid that is every 5 minutes
Skeleton can breathe in space because he's a skeleton
The Camel has a spacesuit
Brad is wearing a robotic suit that apparently lets him breathe in space
national socialist Wizard
Someone of an unknown species
Space Hitman
Space Policeman
Space Man
Space Salesman

Objects
Heavily damaged Dropship
A lunar base
A Store™
« Last Edit: September 12, 2015, 04:58:29 PM by Blockchip »