The Deal: Revisited [History Repeats Itself]

[cromartini]

You remeber your unused paycheck was in that bowler that got cut.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THEY forgetED UP ?
WHEN YOUR PAYCHECK IS DESTROYED AND I WRITE IN COMIC SANS ?!
ALOT.
GO BERZERK ON THOSE BITCHES. NO ONE STOPS JOHN "STEELrooster" MCLASS FROM GETTING HIS PAYCHECK.

[Ad Bot]

[Space1255]

"YOU ROBOWHORES ARE USELESS IN A FIGHT I JUST NEED TO THROW WATER ON YOU"

[NotBomberguy]

use shotgun as force of nature from TF2 and blast the robowhores back
proceed to fly with your atomizer+winger+FaN combo

[tber123]

> JACK OFF

I do not know how to "Jack off". The phrase "Jack off" is not recognized by the text parser.

> SHOOT SHOTGUN AT WALL AND HEAD NORTH

You shoot the shotgun at the wall and start running north with the surviving customers. Judging by the confused beeping of robots behind you as they investigate the gunfire and find nobody, it seems like you've lost them for now.

> YELL AT THE ROBO BITCHES TO SQUARE UP WHILE INSULTING THEIR USELESSNESS

"SQUARE UP, ROBO BITCHES! I JUST NEED TO THROW WATER ON YOU USELESS ROBOWHORES!" You confidently taunt the robots, making the whole "Distract them with noise and run" ordeal pointless. The robots quickly rush to your location, some of them flanking around in the maze to cut off your escape. You are surrounded.

> ASK THE CUSTOMERS FOR WATER

A nearby customer gives you a water bottle. You take off the cap and spill it all over the nearest robot, causing it to short circuit and collapse. You hear a surviving customer scream in agony behind you, and turn around to see a robot beating it to death. Another water bottle is passed over to you and subsequently used to short circuit another robot, but the customer with all the water bottles is quickly mobbed by the robots and dragged away to his demise. The combat-capable customers begin shooting back at the robots, killing one of them.

You see a robot retract her arms and extend a plasma cannon. Another robot retracts her arms and extends a minigun. The rest of the robots that aren't busy murdering the customers slowly start forming a circle around you.

> SEDUCE THE ROBO HORDE

You try seducing the robo horde while still believing the lies that the pleasure bot told you. Here goes.

"I can turn the software in your chest area into hardware, if you know what I mean. You know you want some."

The robots are not amused and resume attacking.

> GO BERSERK BECAUSE THE PLEASURE BOT CUT UP YOUR UNUSED PAYCHECK THAT YOU SECRETLY HAD IN YOUR HAT ALL ALONG AND BLAST THE ROBOWHORES BACK

A righteous fury overcomes you as you realize that your paycheck was shredded along with your hat when the pleasure bot attacked you! As the two robots with arm-mounted guns take aim at you and fire, you quickly duck down and ensure that they shoot each other instead of you. A robot moves in to restrain you, but you step to the side and blast it with the shotgun, sending it backpedalling into another robot and causing them to both fall. You rush through the gap in the robotic circle and narrowly avoid being grabbed, and then you rapidly fire the shotgun, making sure to pump it the instant you fire. Robot after robot falls to your frenzied shooting.

All the robots focusing on you have been killed. The only robots left in the immediate vicinity are the ones murdering the rest of the customers. You blast the robots in the back while they're busy tearing everyone else limb from limb, also killing them off. Almost everyone else that was a part of your group has been brutally murdered by the robots, and now it's just you and two other crippled guys.

> FLY WITH YOUR ATOMIZER PLUS WINGER PLUS FORCE A NATURE COMBO

You do not have that.

> KEEP HEADING NORTH

You keep heading north in the maze until you suddenly find an area in it that is extremely wide open, which makes the rest of the maze seem claustrophobic in comparison. You spot a curious, almost-extraterrestrial structure sitting in the middle of the wide open area. It glows slightly, and it even hums a little. There is a handy computer screen and keyboard attached to the structure.


> _

You are being accompanied by two survivors.

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, and a bowler hat. Your bowler hat is damaged, with the top part having been sliced off.

You are uninjured, but hungry and thirsty.

[Refticus]

MASH BUTTONS ON THE CONSOLE

[Rabbot32]

SEDUCE IT LIKE THE ROBO-SLUT IT IS
no
Check ammo in shotgun, move forward with caution. My mustard-and-snow stuffed nose tells me this reeks of a trap.

[plad101]

Realize it's The Monlith, it's time stalker, worship it.

Hack it and see if you can deactivate the robots with it or something

[Space1255]

Shut it down then shoot the stuff out of it

[NotBomberguy]

forget it just see if you can fly with the shotgun like a FaN scunt

[SWAT One]

Blast the computer with the shotgun because forget these goddamn shenanigans.  You want out!

[cromartini]

Say a cheesy one liner and kick down the door.

[Eon]

scream again "I WIN"

[tber123]

forget it just see if you can fly with the shotgun like a FaN scunt

> TRY TO FLY WITH SHOTGUN

You shoot the Remington 870 at the ground and try to fly. The pellets embed themselves in the ground and nothing else happens.

SEDUCE IT LIKE THE ROBO-SLUT IT IS
no
Check ammo in shotgun, move forward with caution. My mustard-and-snow stuffed nose tells me this reeks of a trap.

>CHECK HOW MUCH AMMO WE HAVE AND CAUTIOUSLY MOVE TOWARD THE STRUCTURE SINCE ITS PROBABLY A ROBO-TRAP™

You have enough shotgun shells left to rob an entire bank and then get into a shootout with a security guard on the way out. You slowly approach the curious structure with your shotgun raised, and it keeps humming. Nothing seems to be happening yet. You are standing in front of the structure, and with it, the monitor and keyboard.

Say a cheesy one liner and kick down the door.

> DROP A CHEESY ONE LINER AND KICK DOWN THE DOOR

Suddenly noticing a door on the structure, you decide to kick it down with a cry of "Time to take out the Robo-Trash!" The door refuses to budge, and you soon realize that it's not even a real door. It's an expertly painted door that could fool the world's leading expert on doors.

scream again "I WIN"

> YELL THAT YOU'VE WON

With a triumphant cry of "I WIN", you proclaim your victory to.... Nothing in particular. The other two guys accompanying you start to question your sanity.

Realize it's The Monlith, it's time stalker, worship it.

Hack it and see if you can deactivate the robots with it or something

> TRY TO HACK THE STRUCTURE USING THE COMPUTER INTEGRATED INTO IT

You take a look at the computer screen and realize that the structure is using an unusual operating system. This isn't even the big three OS's out there, like Windows, Mac, or Linux. It's not even Rasperry Pi, for Christ's sake! What kind of alien operating system is this? You blindly navigate the desktop until you find a random program that looks useful, and click it.

Nothing happens. You double click and triple click and even quadruple click, but the program won't open. In desperation, you try double rightclicking only to be amazed when it actually opens the program. The program immediately greets you with large, 72 point font saying "PASSWORD REQUIRED". You look down at the keyboard and realize to your horror that it's also alien, with an usual as hell layout that's not QWERTY or Dvorak or anything else known to man. The keys aren't even in English, and are nothing but a bunch of weird hieroglyphics.

Try to hack it anyways?

MASH BUTTONS ON THE CONSOLE

> MASH BUTTONS RANDOMLY

You smash random buttons on the keyboard and hit enter. The structure starts humming with double the intensity, the screen displays "INCORRECT PASSWORD." You keep trying again and again until the system locks you out for having too many incorrect guesses.

Blast the computer with the shotgun because forget these goddamn shenanigans.  You want out!

Shut it down then shoot the stuff out of it

> SHUT THE COMPUTER DOWN WITH YOUR SHOTGUN

You blast the computer with your shotgun, utterly destroying it. The structure begins humming even louder now, and you start hearing SCHZOOM, followed by a deep, deep Annoying Orangeet-like sound. The sound continues repeating until the walls of the maze you are trapped in start retracting into the floor.

"What's happening?" A panicked survivor shrieks. "What did we do to deserve this?"

The curious structure beginning to hum louder and louder as the seconds pass. The SCHZOOM and the deep Annoying Orangeet-like sounds also start getting louder and louder until everything is unbearable. You can't hear anything over the combined loudness of the structure's humming and the weird noise it is making. The entire world begins shaking violently, and you can't tell if an earthquake struck at the right time or if the curious structure is causing it. Either way, the shaking is violent enough that standing up becomes impossible, and you collapse to the floor. Your eardrums begin to ache from the extremely loud noises, and all you can hear is a ringing sound. The lights suddenly go out, sending sparks flying everywhere.

It is pitch black. You are likely to be mutilated and given an impromptu vasectomy by a robot. You are also deaf from all the noise.

> _

You are being accompanied by two survivors.

Your inventory contains a phone, a Remington 870 shotgun, and a wallet with a few hundred dollars.

You are wearing regular civilian clothes that make you look like an average guy, and a bowler hat. Your bowler hat is damaged, with the top part having been sliced off.

You are uninjured, but hungry and thirsty.

[Eon]

scream once more "WORLDSTAR"

[Rabbot32]

Use the flashlightbright on your mobile telephone to see what's around you.