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Alright we’ve all got our friendly neighborhood guy-who-stuffs-on-you here but let me shed some light on the reason celau is a big deal for a solid plethora of people:
First off, a little history lesson for those out of the loop. This guy’s blown through countless accounts in his time here. Let’s start off with cone2, skipping the really young one (that’s excusable). Essentially the extent of this account’s legacy is that he made a stuffload of topics in clan discussion and tried desperately to get people to like him. Now he may be like 12 at this point, but it foreshadows pretty nicely if you think about it.
Next in line is Eon
1, a name which he’s turned into such a meme for himself that nobody ever actually remembers the reason people didn’t like him. For starters, he was completely obsessed with getting people to like him by starting all kinds of projects and groups.
2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 Now you may be thinking “oh damn that’s a lot of stuff for a year of posting” but wait—there’s more. Eon’s discovered a better way of getting people to like him: bashing on people that other people don’t like
13,14,15,16,17,18.
Thus began the whole “celau = makes dramas” shindig. But what befell of our trusty hero? Well you’ll probably notice I didn’t link the cone2 account—no, it’s not because I’m incompetent, it’s because he gave out his login information to several people, notably jiggy/dezi
19 and bedpost/chadmaverick/flowey/roule/etc.
20 Apparently, he started using his eon account to start over on the forums with a blank canvas to hide his past with cone2, but instead used said canvas to paint a lovely rembrandt-esque depicting beautiful scenes such as gore bombs and sucking the nigerian cunts’ richards until they accepted him.
So a few months have gone by. Eon quit blockland for good? Are we in the clear? Nope, he just pulls the whole tabula rasa “new man” bullstuff again by acting like a new guy under his celau
21 account. Now this account didn’t last long because he got banned after being mistaken for kahnu (at least I think so, badspot wasn’t ever very clear on that), but an honorable mention is that he started working on a project that actually started going somewhere until his apathy killed it
22 And here we can introduce kelau
23, who came back shortly after his last key’s ban when somebody (conan I think) bought him a key to keep working on block tactical, which eventually became BL:CS
24. So a few months of stuffposting fly by until december, when grimlock
25 breaks the news that celau/kelau was, in fact, eon/cone2
26. After lots of claims of doctored evidence begin to fly around, I decide to trust in cel’s story (we were friends) and defend him in the drama because while I didn’t hate eon I wasn’t super close to him and the whole gore/NC thing sealed the deal for me that I didn’t like him (also a dude I know is hella more credible than ravencroft and grimlock lol). Anyhow I was vehemently defending celau and eventually badspot explained his bans, following celau breaking out into the thread and said basically that he’d been lying to everybody for 13 pages and half a year.
In the middle of that drama kelau was banned, and he created zelau
27 to defend himself. The whole account was nothing notable, apart from dramaing the nigerian cunts and shizza, but the kicker really comes in how he got banned: abusing the table exploit in original smf so that his account was banned permanently (along with enough others for a solid purge) and tables were removed as a tool on the forums.
On a side note, celau also has a fairly plentiful discord history. He frequented Entropia for a long time, until well after he made his discord servers—the chad republic(s), schmucks, and also the furred reich, which he’s referenced a few times before but never really explained. Long ago, geben, cubone, kant, celau and I were all in a group all the time, played games, chatted often, etc. You see, we were all great friends with no gripes because of a common interest- we’re all furries. No exceptions, yes, that means our man of the hour celau himself is a gay furry. This guy could navigate e621 like loving magellan too, not like he’s just some average loveually curious ol’ joe. His animal of choice, you ask? A raven. After a few nice months he got pissy and came across the revelation that he should care more about his image than his friends, so he left the server and got beef with us in favor of appeasing his furry-resenting friends. Because it really ain’t a drama without some furry drama aye
(referenced here if you’re wondering)
Also lol
Now it’s time to talk about some more recent events. On the forums not so much, although he did have xelau
28 and selau
29 keys made, both after saying he wouldn’t be coming back. Discord drama, however, is the past year’s poison after a long forum trek.
Sorry about the two posts, this thing went over the character limit