The Deal [Hiatus]

[Cybertails1998]

Strike a dramatic pose

[Ad Bot]

[tber123]

throw the helicopter at them while stuffting and pissing yourself.

You weakly attempt to throw the helicopter you are in at the truck drivers, but you're not that strong. You take a bullet to the lung and collapse to the floor voiding the contents of your body.

Strike a dramatic pose

Make your final beg for demonic powers to Lucifer.

With your last dying breath, you strike a badass yet dramatic pose, praying Lucifer for demonic powers---

Protagonist breathes heavily, coughing up blood... and fades away.

GAME OVER
Reloading autosave...

But first, do first aid on yourself, cant wank if your wanking arm has been shot.

^ using the pin-striped suit.  afterwards retreat into chopper to swap the torn attire for the one with armor

edit: wait holy stuff.  upgrade the sail with that's left of the destroyed suit yo we gotta Blast

You use up half of your destroyed suit fixing the damage done by the bullets, and use the other half to upgrade the sail. You are now cruising at... 10 miles per hour. Yay?

if they are still following, see who the hell they are

Ice Cream Trucks 1-4 are still on your tail!
Blonde Driver Shouts: "YO MAN! TIME TO HAVE A TASTE OF OUR FINEST PRODUCT!"
Fedora Driver tips his fedora at you and reaches into his jacket.
Driver w/ Shades glares at you and lets a small smile creep onto his lips before he ducks down and reaches for something.
Truck #4 Passenger starts leaning out the window while reaching into his waist!
Truck #1 Passenger does the same!

stuff, we gotta blast, blow air into the sail or find a electric fan

You frantically blow air into the sail, moving the chopper at 12 miles per hour. As you continue blowing air into the sail, you notice an electronics store ahead with a electric fan prominently on display, along with a FlySwatter Anti-Aircraft Laser Pointer Model 2012!

Ice Cream Truck 1
Blonde Driver armed with Sawn-Off Rifle 7.62x54mm
Some Passenger armed with 9mm Machine Pistol

Ice Cream Truck 2
Fedora Driver armed with .45 Pistol
Some Passenger armed with Auto Shotgun

Ice Cream Truck 3
Driver With Shades armed with .50 Penetrator Rifle
Some Passenger armed with 7.62 Communist Special

Ice Cream Truck 4
Driver in a Tuxedo armed with Ventilator Rifle 5.56
Some Passenger(Not Sven Svenson) armed with Sven Svenson's Templar Rifle 5.56

WEAPONS BLOODLUST Lever Action .44 Henry 5/8 Hand Cannon .50 8/8 (Massive recoil) 6x35mm PDW 30/30 (Spray and pray.) Tranquilizer Pistol 4/5 (Works best on limbs or the neck) Secretly Sharpened Pen (Opens up letters, cans, and throats alike) Taser 1/1 (Portable Police Brutality Package.)

ITEMS Mysterious Package (MISSION CRITICAL ITEM) Your own wallet($500 for bribin' and buyin') Smartphone Pink Suit/Tie Fancy Suit w/ Concealed Armor (Stops most pistol/SMG rounds and shotgun pellets) EQUIPPED Plastic Bag (Carry groceries or suffocate some unlucky bastard.) Purple Handcuffs

RESERVE AMMO Tranq Dart: 5 Taser Ammo: 3 .50: 6 6x35mm: 20 .44 Henry: 4 Overall Health: LIGHTLY WOUNDED Blood: [lllllll---] Head: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Torso: SHOT [llllllllll] Left Arm: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Arm: SHOT [llllllllll] Left Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll]

[Refticus]

open case and consume the ayylien artifact

[Cybertails1998]

PAF PAF PAF

[NotBomberguy]

tape weapons together optimized for less recoil, let it rip on the icecream truck drivers
deliver one liner
"You just got icecreamed"

[tber123]

open case and consume the ayylien artifact

You consume the alien artifact, rendering the entire thread unwinnable. That, and the alien artifact isn't safe to eat. You instantly die from how toxic it is to humans.

Autosave reloading again...

tape weapons together optimized for less recoil, let it rip on the icecream truck drivers
deliver one liner
"You just got icecreamed"

You have a brilliant idea: Tape your guns together! You don't have any tape, though. You see a arts and crafts store approaching you, however. Maybe you can crash through there and swipe the tape?

PAF PAF PAF

You lean out of your helicopter landboat and open up on the drivers with your Hand Cannon!
John McClass pops off two rounds from the Hand Cannon at Ice Cream Truck 4, striking the Passenger in the arms twice BLOWING IT OFF!
The Templar Rifle slips from Passenger 4's grasp.
Passenger 4 screams in agony and fires a .38 Revolver one handed at John McClass, hitting the landboat to no effect!
Blonde Driver and Passenger 1 let it rip! Blonde Driver takes precision aim while Passenger 1 suppresses!
John McClass manages to avoid being shot!
Fedora Driver IS GUNNING THE ENGINE AND PREPARING TO RAM YOU.
Driver w/ Shades IS ALSO GUNNING THE ENGINE AND PREPARING TO RAM YOU.
Driver in a Tuxedo pushes a button on the dashboard of his truck, revealing that the Ice Cream Truck has a pair of rifles mounted into it!
John McClass whips out the PDW and fires a three-round burst, striking Blonde Driver in the torso and wounding him!
Blonde Driver yelps in pain and accidentally swerves the truck into a fire hydrant!
Passenger 2 fires the ENTIRE Auto Shotgun magazine into the land boat, putting a slight dent into it!

Ice Cream Truck 1(FALLING BEHIND)
Blonde Driver(MajorWounds) armed with Sawn-Off Rifle 7.62x54mm
Some Passenger armed with 9mm Machine Pistol

Ice Cream Truck 2(ABOUT TO RAM YOU)
Fedora Driver armed with .45 Pistol
Some Passenger armed with Auto Shotgun

Ice Cream Truck 3(BRACE FOR IMPACT!)
Driver With Shades armed with .50 Penetrator Rifle
Some Passenger armed with 7.62 Communist Special

Ice Cream Truck 4 armed with Mounted Rifle x2
Driver in a Tuxedo armed with Ventilator Rifle 5.56
Passenger 4(NearDEATH, LostArm) armed with .38 Revolver

WEAPONS BLOODLUST Lever Action .44 Henry 5/8 Hand Cannon .50 6/8 (Massive recoil) 6x35mm PDW 27/30 (Spray and pray.) Tranquilizer Pistol 4/5 (Works best on limbs or the neck) Secretly Sharpened Pen (Opens up letters, cans, and throats alike) Taser 1/1 (Portable Police Brutality Package.)

ITEMS Mysterious Package (MISSION CRITICAL ITEM) Your own wallet($500 for bribin' and buyin') Smartphone Pink Suit/Tie Fancy Suit w/ Concealed Armor (Stops most pistol/SMG rounds and shotgun pellets) EQUIPPED Plastic Bag (Carry groceries or suffocate some unlucky bastard.) Purple Handcuffs

RESERVE AMMO Tranq Dart: 5 Taser Ammo: 3 .50: 6 6x35mm: 20 .44 Henry: 4 Overall Health: LIGHTLY WOUNDED Blood: [lllllll---] Head: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Torso: SHOT [llllllllll] Left Arm: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Arm: SHOT [llllllllll] Left Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll]

[BreadFish]

dual wield lever-actiopn and handcannon while firing at the driver of icecream truck 2 and steer for the arts and crafts store

[tber123]

dual wield lever-actiopn and handcannon while firing at the driver of icecream truck 2 and steer for the arts and crafts store

You dual wield the Lever Action and Handcannon before firing them one-handed like a badass, promptly breaking your wrists from the recoil. The Ice Cream Trucks violently ram you into the Arts and Crafts store, sending you flying out of the land boat! You manage to swipe a roll of tape while in mid-flight before crashing out the store windows and flying into the front seat of a police car, killing the driver.

Ice Cream Truck 1 can't keep up!
Ice Cream Truck 2 plows through the Arts and Crafts store, smashing through the shelves and running over several customers!
Ice Cream Truck 3 guns the engine again and smashes his way out of the Arts and Crafts Store, killing the Manager!
Ice Cream Truck 4 navigates AROUND the Arts and Crafts store!

Ice Cream Truck 2(Damaged)
Fedora Driver armed with .45 Pistol
Some Passenger armed with Auto Shotgun

Ice Cream Truck 3(Damaged)
Driver With Shades armed with .50 Penetrator Rifle
Some Passenger armed with 7.62 Communist Special

Ice Cream Truck 4 armed with Mounted Rifle x2
Driver in a Tuxedo armed with Ventilator Rifle 5.56
Passenger 4(NearDEATH, LostArm) armed with .38 Revolver

WEAPONS BLOODLUST Lever Action .44 Henry 4/8 Hand Cannon .50 5/8 (Massive recoil) 6x35mm PDW 27/30 (Spray and pray.) Tranquilizer Pistol 4/5 (Works best on limbs or the neck) Secretly Sharpened Pen (Opens up letters, cans, and throats alike) Taser 1/1 (Portable Police Brutality Package.)

ITEMS Mysterious Package (MISSION CRITICAL ITEM) Your own wallet($500 for bribin' and buyin') Smartphone Pink Suit/Tie Fancy Suit w/ Concealed Armor (Stops most pistol/SMG rounds and shotgun pellets) EQUIPPED Plastic Bag (Carry groceries or suffocate some unlucky bastard.) Purple Handcuffs Roll of Tape

RESERVE AMMO Tranq Dart: 5 Taser Ammo: 3 .50: 6 6x35mm: 20 .44 Henry: 4 Current Vehicle: Police Car Overall Health: WOUNDED Blood: [lllllll---] Head: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Torso: SHOT [llllllllll] Left Arm: BROKEN WRISTS [llllllllll- Right Arm: BROKEN WRISTS [lllllllll-] Left Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll]

[NotBomberguy]

Summon the reichtangle
blood will spill

[tber123]

Q: What are the rules/things to know?
1) No divine or supernatural intervention allowed in most cases. No summoning Satan, no suddenly finding a suit of Power Armor and a nuclear bomb, and so on.
2) Not all suggestions can be taken for various reasons.
3) You can carry an infinite number of weapons/items, but concealing them will be a challenge.

[NotBomberguy]

but I thought reichtangle wasn't satan

[Space1255]

Take out the alien device and press any buttons on it.

[tber123]

Take out the alien device and press any buttons on it.

You press a button and the alien device starts beeping loudly before shooting a purple ray of light into your head. Your mind is instantly scrambled and slightly fried before you can regain the slightest ounce of your senses. You start seeing things and bright, flashing colors.

Also, your wrists are still broken so you won't be able to drive or shoot worth stuff.

Driver With Shades fires the .50 Penetrator Rifle at John McClass, striking the rear left door of his police car BLOWING IT OFF!
Some Passenger fires the Communist Special at John McClass, nearly popping the tires!
Truck 2 Passenger reloads the Auto Shotgun!

Ice Cream Truck 2(Damaged)
Fedora Driver armed with .45 Pistol
Some Passenger armed with Auto Shotgun

Ice Cream Truck 3(Damaged)
Driver With Shades armed with .50 Penetrator Rifle
Some Passenger armed with 7.62 Communist Special

Ice Cream Truck 4 armed with Mounted Rifle x2
Driver in a Tuxedo armed with Ventilator Rifle 5.56
Passenger 4(NearDEATH, LostArm) armed with .38 Revolver

WEAPONS BLOODLUST Lever Action .44 Henry 4/8 Hand Cannon .50 5/8 (Massive recoil) 6x35mm PDW 27/30 (Spray and pray.) Tranquilizer Pistol 4/5 (Works best on limbs or the neck) Secretly Sharpened Pen (Opens up letters, cans, and throats alike) Taser 1/1 (Portable Police Brutality Package.)

ITEMS Mysterious Package (MISSION CRITICAL ITEM) Your own wallet($500 for bribin' and buyin') Smartphone Pink Suit/Tie Fancy Suit w/ Concealed Armor (Stops most pistol/SMG rounds and shotgun pellets) EQUIPPED Plastic Bag (Carry groceries or suffocate some unlucky bastard.) Purple Handcuffs Roll of Tape

RESERVE AMMO Tranq Dart: 5 Taser Ammo: 3 .50: 6 6x35mm: 20 .44 Henry: 4 Current Vehicle: Police Car Overall Health: WOUNDED Blood: [lllllll---] Head: MIND forgetED [??????????] Torso: SHOT [llllllllll] Left Arm: BROKEN WRISTS [llllllllll- Right Arm: BROKEN WRISTS [lllllllll-] Left Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll]

[Space1255]

Find a way to shoot with your feet. Use a low recoil weapon.

[tber123]

Find a way to shoot with your feet. Use a low recoil weapon.

You try to shoot your PDW with your feet, but you end up spraying bullets all over the place since its awkward to shoot like that. The Ice Cream Trucks rev up their engines and prepare to ram you simultaneously. Better fix those wrists fast or you're dead meat.

Ice Cream Truck 2(Damaged)
Fedora Driver armed with .45 Pistol
Some Passenger armed with Auto Shotgun

Ice Cream Truck 3(Damaged)
Driver With Shades armed with .50 Penetrator Rifle
Some Passenger armed with 7.62 Communist Special

Ice Cream Truck 4 armed with Mounted Rifle x2
Driver in a Tuxedo armed with Ventilator Rifle 5.56
Passenger 4(NearDEATH, LostArm) armed with .38 Revolver

WEAPONS BLOODLUST Lever Action .44 Henry 4/8 Hand Cannon .50 5/8 (Massive recoil) 6x35mm PDW 19/30 (Spray and pray.) Tranquilizer Pistol 4/5 (Works best on limbs or the neck) Secretly Sharpened Pen (Opens up letters, cans, and throats alike) Taser 1/1 (Portable Police Brutality Package.)

ITEMS Mysterious Package (MISSION CRITICAL ITEM) Your own wallet($500 for bribin' and buyin') Smartphone Pink Suit/Tie Fancy Suit w/ Concealed Armor (Stops most pistol/SMG rounds and shotgun pellets) EQUIPPED Plastic Bag (Carry groceries or suffocate some unlucky bastard.) Purple Handcuffs Roll of Tape

RESERVE AMMO Tranq Dart: 5 Taser Ammo: 3 .50: 6 6x35mm: 20 .44 Henry: 4 Current Vehicle: Police Car Overall Health: WOUNDED Blood: [lllllll---] Head: MIND forgetED [??????????] Torso: SHOT [llllllllll] Left Arm: BROKEN WRISTS [llllllllll- Right Arm: BROKEN WRISTS [lllllllll-] Left Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll]